A Naco to Remember
by MrDrP
Summary: Kim's dating ... Josh. Ron's dating ... Tara. And Mama Lipsky is driving her Drewbie, who isn't dating anyone, crazy. Romance, friendship, chimeritos, reference to a Passover Seder or two, a clone and 30 percent more fun. AU, spring, junior year. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Kim's dating ... Josh. Ron's dating ... Tara. And Mama Lipsky is driving her Drewbie, who isn't dating anyone, crazy. Romance, friendship, chimeritos, a clone, a couple of Seders, and 30 percent more fun. AU

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Thanks to campy for his always invaluable beta and proofreading assistance.

Leave a review and I'll send you a response.

KP et. al. © Disney

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**A/N:** This chapter originally appeared as part of "Man, Love is Complicated," a collaboration from which I felt a need to withdraw. Chapter Two, which will have at least 30 percent more bricks and an appearance by Mama Lipsky, will be comprised of all new, never-before-published material.

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I.

"And how's my bon-diggity girlfriend this fine day?" a cheerful Ron Stoppable asked as he slipped his arm around his GF's waist.

"Badical," she said with a smile. "I had so much fun last night."

"Well, the Ronster aims to please his lady," he said, trying to sound suave, but instead eliciting a giggle, which was accompanied by a peck on the lips.

"Okay, you two, cut it out," Kim said with a grin as she approached Ron and Tara.

"Oh, like you're one to talk, KP," Ron said with a grin of his own. "There are times when I'd swear that you and Josh had been hit by Dementor's sticky ball thingie," he added as he gave Josh Mankey, who was holding Kim's hand, a high five. "Whassup, my man?"

"Dude," Josh said in greeting. "Just chillin'. So, you two ready for the Fair?"

"You bet," Tara said sweetly. "It'll be so much fun! Cotton candy, and the petting zoo, and –"

"The Disorienter!" Ron exclaimed. "It's only the most extreme ride in Fair history!"

"Ron, you may be my BF, but I am not going on that ride with you," Tara said sternly.

"Aww," he whined.

"Don't worry, Ron," Kim said. "I'll go with you."

"Thanks, KP," he said brightly.

"No big, that's what best friends are for," she said as the two couples began walking down the hall to their next class.

II.

Josh watched as Kim and Ron climbed onto the Disorienter. Like Tara, he had little interest in paying to have his stomach turned upside down.

"I hope Ron's okay," Tara said worriedly.

"I wouldn't worry about Ron," Josh observed with a wry grin. "I'd be more concerned about the clown," he said, tilting his head in the direction of the umbrella-wielding entertainer. "You want to get something to drink while Kim and Ron scramble their insides?"

"Sure," Tara said. "I'm feeling thirsty."

"You ever wonder about those two?" Josh asked as they queued up for their overpriced carnival beverages.

"What do you mean?" Tara asked.

"With some of the stuff they've done on missions, I'd think a Fair ride would seem lame to them."

"Hmmm," Tara said as she thought about Josh's observation.

"Yet they seem to be having a ball," he noted as they watched the ride spin around and around with Kim and Ron laughing and screaming their heads off like two little kids.

"Maybe they like an extreme ride that doesn't involve villains?" Tara suggested.

"Could be," Josh agreed.

"Uh, oh," she said. "Somebody had better warn the clown … ooooo."

Josh realized that Tara had picked up on the signs of her BF's crummy tummy before he – and more important, Chuckles, who had prematurely folded his umbrella – had. He shook his head sympathetically as the blonde cheerleader sighed.

III.

"I so told you not to sneak in that chili cheese dog," Kim said.

"But it was begging to be eaten," Ron protested as they climbed out of the ride. "KP, it had cheese."

"Cheese!" Rufus squeaked as he popped out of Ron's pocket.

"Ron, you'd eat Styrofoam if it was covered with cheese," she shot back.

"Now don't exaggerate, Kim. I do have my limits," Ron said, his arms folded across his chest. "Though I did eat the cafeteria pizza last Tuesday …"

Kim rolled her eyes.

"Hey! Hey! I saw that!" Ron said. "No eye rolling!"

Kim began snickering.

"Oh great, roll your eyes and laugh at me!"

Kim's snickering quickly mounted to the point where she was doubled over in laughter and her eyes were tearing up.

"Oh, some best friend you are," he said with mock indignation.

"C'mon, Extreme Ride Boy" she said, slapping him on the back. "Let's go find our dates."

IV.

Josh and Tara watched as Kim and Ron walked their way, laughing and playfully swatting one another.

"Hey, you two better cut that out or people are going to start talking," the young artist said to the teen hero and her sidekick. "You look and act like an old married couple!"

"So do not," Kim said as she came up to her boyfriend and gave him a buss on the cheek.

"So do," Josh shot back with a grin.

"Hmmm. He may have a point, KP," Ron said, looking thoughtful before a huge grin spread across his face. "You do like to boss me around, just like Mom does Dad."

"I so do not boss you around!"

"Let's go to the video tape from our last mission," he replied before saying in a falsetto, "Ron Stoppable, stop playing around."

"Oh, you are so busted," she said with an indulgent smile.

"And then there's 'Ron, keep your head in the game'," he added, once again speaking in a very faux-girly voice.

While Josh found himself laughing as the two best friends gave as good as they got to one another, Tara watched, finding herself mildly uncomfortable. For a moment, she wondered why; she'd seen Kim and Ron pal around before and it had never bothered her. Then it occurred to her: she didn't like the idea of Kim and Ron as an old married couple – because that meant she'd never get to be Mrs. Ron Stoppable. She knew it was a silly thought – they were just high school students, after all – but it was a thought that wouldn't go away.

V.

Josh walked Kim to the front door of the Possible abode.

"Thanks for a great evening, Josh," she said.

"Hey, it was fun. As long as you weren't the clown."

Kim snorted. "Sometimes I think Ron will never learn."

Josh smiled. "Well, you just make sure that he comes to the reception at the Middleton Gallery on an empty stomach. I really don't want him to hurl on my paintings."

Kim arched an eyebrow. "You do know Ron wouldn't do that?"

"Yeah, I know," Josh said. "Though just to be safe, I should make sure they don't serve any cheese."

"That might be a wise precaution, Mr. Mankey," Kim said with a grin as she leaned in and gave him a goodnight kiss.

VI.

"I'm so sorry, Ron, but I haven't seen my dad's Aunt Eleanor in so long," Tara said. "I promise I'll make it up to you."

"Hey, don't feel bad," he said. "Though if you're going to make it up with some of those badical Tara kisses of yours, maybe you should feel bad. Yeah, you should feel very, very bad."

Tara laughed.

"You sure you're not upset? It is your birthday after all."

"Nah, the Ronman is resilient," he said.

"I even had a new dress for your party."

"I'm all about you in a new dress. Maybe I could arrange a private viewing?"

"Actually, I think I'll save it for the Spring Fling dance," Tara said.

"Coolio!" Ron said. "I'll get to show off my fierce new dance moves for you and you'll get to show off your badical new dress."

"You really sure you're okay with this?"

"Oh, yeah," Ron said.

VII.

"This tanks, KP," Ron said. "Tara's going to be in Go City for my birthday," he groused.

"Well, I know it's not the same, but I'll be there," Kim offered.

"You know, I can always count on you, KP," Ron said.

"So not the drama," she replied. "You are my best friend, after all."

VIII.

"You can't be serious," Josh said.

"I'm sorry," Kim replied. "But you know I promised Ron I'd be there for his birthday dinner. He's really bummed that Tara has to be out of town."

"Well, I'm really bummed that you're going to miss my gallery opening," he said.

"And I was supposed to know that your showing would be rescheduled how?" she asked.

"Sometimes I wonder who's more important to you," Josh grumbled.

"That is so not fair, Josh Mankey!" Kim snapped. "You know I want to be at your opening. But it's not Ron's fault that the gallery changed the date for your show."

"I know," he sighed. "It's just that this is important, and I really wish you could be with me."

"And I wish I could be there, too," Kim said as she wrapped her arms around her boyfriend's neck and gave him a conciliatory kiss.

"You're trying to get my mind off this, aren't you?" Josh said, grinning.

"I'm not trying, I'm succeeding," Kim purred as she kissed him again.

"Pretty confident, aren't you?" he asked.

"Check the motto," she said smugly. "I can do anything."

IX.

"What's the sitch, Wade?" Kim asked peevishly.

"Did I get you at a bad time?" Team Possible's tech guru asked in response.

"Only if you like hot food," Ron grumbled.

"Ron!" Tara scolded him.

Josh smiled and shook his head. He knew where all of this was going.

"Monkey Fist has stolen the Codex Simius Rex," Wade said.

"Great, another book about a Monkey King," Ron said.

"Uh, yeah," Wade said. "How'd you know?"

"Latin class," Ron said smugly.

Kim smiled sympathetically at her best friend. "Nice going, Ron!"

"Thanks, KP. Though it still tanks that we don't get salsa," he groused.

"Still, you do J-Lo proud," Kim said.

"You think?" Ron replied.

"Uh, isn't this where Kim says 'Get your head in the game'?" Tara remarked.

Kim and Ron turned beet red and simultaneously said, "My bad."

"Jinx!" Kim announced, just beating Ron to the punch. "You owe me a soda."

"Aww man," he complained.

"Okay, Wade, sitch me," Kim said.

"Legend has it that the person who possesses this Codex will be able to decipher the runes in the Monkey Temple of Madagascar and gain control of infinite monkey power."

"Great, Monkey Fist with mega monkey mojo," Ron said. "I am so not down with that."

"And neither am I," Kim agreed. "Do you have a ride for us, Wade?"

"It should be there …"

"Now?" Ron suggested he looked out the window to see the GJ hoverjet landing in the parking lot outside the restaurant.

"Let's jet, Ron," Kim said as she got to her feet. "Sorry, Josh."

"Hey, it's cool," he said as Kim kissed him on the cheek. "Have fun saving the world!"

"Be careful," Tara said as Ron leaned in for a kiss.

"Fear not, Ron Stoppable has mad fu skills and plans to use them. Tonight, Monty is going down!" he declared before he turned and followed Kim out of the dining room.

X.

Josh and Tara watched as Kim and Ron left the restaurant.

"Sometimes I think they're dating," he said softly.

"What?" Tara exclaimed.

"Look at them. It really is like they're a couple," he said matter-of-factly.

"I don't believe it," Tara said emphatically. "Ron wouldn't cheat on me."

"I didn't say he would. And I don't think Kim would cheat on me, either."

"Then what are you talking about?"

Josh sighed before he answered. "It's like they're dating in everything but name. They're inseparable. They spend more time with each other than they do with us. Just look at tonight."

"But they're on a mission. That doesn't count."

Josh arched an eyebrow. "Missions definitely count. In fact, they probably count for more. Have you ever been in a life-threatening situation with Ron?"

"No," Tara said. "Other than Wannaweep. He was so brave."

"I've never been in one with Kim, either," Josh said, ignoring Tara's swooning over her BF's exploits.

"Have you ever saved his life or had him save yours? And let's forget Wannaweep."

"No," Tara admitted.

"Same here with Kim," Josh said. "They've shared experiences we'll never share with them. They've been friends forever. They still hang out all the time. They skip gallery openings to be at the other's birthday party."

"Are you angry with Kim?"

"No, not really," Josh conceded. "I just wish I mattered as much to her as Ron does."

"But you do!" Tara protested.

"I don't know about that. The fact is, well, maybe they belong together. To be honest, these past few weeks I've been wondering if maybe I'm in the way of something special, something that Kim and Ron just don't recognize yet."

"But I like Ron," Tara said. "A lot."

"I know," Josh said. "Look, I think Kim's really cool. But sometimes I can't help wonder if Kim and Ron are meant to be something more than just friends."

"Josh, I am not breaking up with Ron," Tara said emphatically.

"Whoa! I didn't say you should," he replied. "It's not like I want to break up with Kim. I was just thinking. Who knows? Maybe I'm just blowing things out of proportion."

"The opening tweaked you, didn't it?" Tara asked.

Josh shrugged. "Well, given a choice between her boyfriend and her best friend, Kim chose her best friend. And that's the kind of thing that does make me wonder …"

_TBC …_


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to Ran Hakubi, daywalkr82, Boris Yeltsin, Josh84, captainkodak1, kpfan72491, Mr. Wizard, screaming phoenix, mr.the.ninja, Joe Stoppinghem, CajunBear73, Quathis, Danny-171984, mortorized-sasquatch, Jawelik, Some1outther, Molloy, and bigherb81for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Special thanks to campy for his beta- and proofreading services.

Leave a review and you'll receive a response.

KP, RS et. al. © Disney

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I.

"So, Drewbie, Aunt Irma tells me that Cousin Eddy is bringing his new girlfriend to the Seder next month."

Drew Theodore P. Lipsky, aka Dr. Drakken, squirmed uncomfortably as his mother stared at him. The implications of her statement were disquieting, to say the least.

There was actually a woman out there, who by her own volition, chose to date Motor Ed!

Drakken shuddered.

Then he recognized the other implication of his mother's report and he shuddered again, this time violently.

Then he began the silent countdown.

_Three._

_Two._

_One._

"So why don't you have a girlfriend, Drewbie?" she asked.

_Blast off!_

"I'm not getting any younger you know," she added sharply.

"Excuse me?" asked Drakken, even more confused than usual.

"Feh," Mama Lipsky said with a dismissive wave of the hand. "And you're supposed to be a radio doctor who helps people."

"Mother, you've stopped making sense," Drakken whined.

Mama Lipsky rolled her eyes.

"Grandchildren, Drewbie!" she exclaimed. "I want some little Lipskys to dote over. You should just hear Edna go on and on about her adorable little Justin."

"Um, couldn't you just talk about Commodore Puddles?" Drakken asked.

"A dog?" Mama Lispky replied incredulously. "You want me to talk about a dog at the Garden Club while Glenda gushes over her precious little Ashley?"

The four foot eight tall woman rose from her chair and, despite her distinct lack of height, left her fidgeting son with the impression that she was towering over him, ready to pronounce his doom. She peered through her cat-eye glasses, making sure she had her boy's attention. Then she announced in a voice that meant business, "Drew Theodore P. Lipsky, it's time for you to settle down …"

"Mother!" he protested.

"… And if you won't find yourself a girlfriend, I will!"

II.

"So, KP, I was thinking about my birthday dinner," Ron said as he huffed and puffed, tired but quite grateful for the mad running away skills he was able to call upon as he and his best friend were desperately trying to outpace the immense granite sphere that was rolling behind, and threatening to catch up with and then flatten, them.

"Time and place," Kim snapped as she and her sidekick sprinted down the darkened tunnel in the bowels of Monkey Fist's latest lair.

"Sorry, it's just that, well, I think you should take a powder," Ron said as he looked over his shoulder at the pursuing object, an action he immediately regretted.

"Ron, what are you talking about?" Kim asked, unable to tamp down her curiosity despite the immediate threat they were trying to outrun.

"I know we've always spent our birthdays together," Ron said, "But I think that Josh is kind of tweaked that you'll be celebrating with Rondo and not be at his art do."

"It's no big, Ron," Kim said.

"Are you really sure about that, KP? You know how Josh is all about the art," Ron replied.

"Well, I guess he did seem disappointed," Kim conceded.

"Then go to his show," Ron said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Ron said. "We can do the Ron-man's b-day in style when Tara gets back from Go City …"

"You rock, Ron," Kim said.

"… And you can take me to see _Bricks of Fury Eye Eye Eye_."

"Let me guess," Kim said as she spied a crevice about five feet above the tunnel's floor. "Tara's not into bricks?" She then wrapped her arm around Ron's waist, then fired her grappler at the recess. The moment the line went taut, she pressed the retract mechanism, which pulled her and Ron to safety.

"Hard to believe, I know," Ron said as he tried to get his nose out of Kim's ear. Their refuge was cramped, and the two teens found themselves pressed up against one another. "It's kind of inexplicable. I mean, how can she not be about the bricks?"

Shifting her weight, Kim smirked at her best friend, whose face was just millimeters from hers. "I really don't know," she deadpanned as the boulder passed by.

"You're with her on the bricks, aren't you?" Ron asked.

Kim peered out of their hiding place, and, confident that the danger had passed, rolled out and dropped to the floor, gracefully landing on her feet. Ron followed suit and landed not so gracefully on his backside. Kim took Ron's hand and helped him to his feet. "Pretty much," she admitted.

Ron's face fell as he confronted the possibility of having to see the latest installment of his favorite cinematic series on his own.

"But that doesn't mean my best friend is going to see his movie alone," Kim said.

"Really?" Ron asked.

"Mmm hmmm," Kim said. "You. Me. Next Friday. Now let's go take down Monkey Fist so we can ace this place and get back to our dates."

III.

"Thanks for coming to the movie with me," Tara said as she and Josh left the theatre. "I didn't think I'd get to see this. Bonnie's been all into Brick lately."

"Bonnie?" Josh asked. "What about Ron?"

"If it doesn't have a zombie, space ship or something blowing up Ron's really not into it," Tara said with a roll of the eyes before adding wistfully, "Kim's lucky. A BF who likes chick flicks."

Josh laughed.

"What's so funny?" the blonde cheerleader asked.

"You want to know a secret?" he asked conspiratorially.

"Sure," Tara said, caught up in the moment.

"One of the reasons I'm glad Kim and Ron are friends is that I hate action movies."

"Really?" Tara replied. She'd thought all guys loved action films.

Josh nodded. "No depth, no feeling. Just lots of noise. You know, I still can't figure out why Kim eats them up. You'd think with all the fighting she does on her missions …"

"That's what I wonder about Ron!" Tara said, her face lighting up. "He tells me about how he and Kim get away from some bad guy's place seconds before it blows up. Then he wants to pay to see one blow up on screen!"

Josh offered a knowing smile. "You should hear Kim complain about her fights with Shego. But if you put kung fu on screen …"

Tara laughed. "Don't even go there! Ever since Ron went to Japan …"

"So, you up for Mr. Fudgie's?" Josh asked as they approached his car.

"That'd be nice," Tara said.

"Great," Josh said as he opened the passenger door of his car for Tara. He walked around the vehicle, slipped into his seat and turned the key in the ignition. "So, any bets on what our dates are up to?"

"I don't know," Tara said. "But I sure hope they're having fun."

IV.

"Fine," Drakken grumbled as he slammed down the receiver. "Be that way. See if I care!"

"Uh, Doc," his glamorous and dangerous assistant observed, "maybe they skipped this in evil genius school, but you're supposed to talk into the telephone, not to it."

"Very funny, Shego," Drakken snapped. "I'll have you know I was talking into the telephone."

"Not with much success, I see," she japed.

"Ha, ha!" Drakken replied before he slumped in his chair.

Shego perched on his desk. "So what's got you blue?"

Drakken glared at her.

"Sorry, couldn't help myself," Shego said.

"While you're having fun at my expense I, Doctor Drakken, am trying to forestall a crisis of unimaginable proportions!"

"Let me guess," Shego said as she pulled out an emery board and began sharpening her clawed gloves. "Dementor's going to get pole position at this year's Villains' Soap Box Derby?"

"No!" Drakken shot back before his eyes opened wide in horrified recognition that the unthinkable might happen. Again. "You don't think?"

Shego shrugged.

"It's not fair!" Drakken wailed. "He has everything."

"Doctor D, focus," Shego said as she continued to work on her gloves. "If Dementor's not what's bugging you, what is?"

"If you must know: it's Mother," Drakken confessed as he explained the situation to his lippy sidekick.

Shego responded the only way a loyal companion with whom one has shared many adventures could reasonably be expected to respond: she began laughing, long and hard. Had Drakken not already been evil, Shego's laughter would have sent him careening into a life of villainy.

"Go ahead, mock me," Drakken said. "But I, Doctor Drakken—"

"Whoa, whoa," Shego interrupted, waving her hands. "You can only do that once in a rant."

"Do what once?"

"Say," Shego replied before she sat up straight, squared her jaw, and dropped her voice, "'I, Doctor Drakken'."

"Why?"

"It's in the Code."

"It is not," he protested.

"Yeah, actually I think it is," she said confidently as she began leafing through a copy of Jack Hench's latest catalog.

"Show me," Drakken challenged her.

"Sure," she said. "When I get my copy back from Junior."

"Junior?"

"He said something about needing it to surprise his Papi."

Drakken clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. He was trembling with frustration and humiliation-induced rage. But then, as if a switch had been flipped, he began to smile. Shego, noticing the sudden change on her employer's expression, began to grow suspicious. And, it would turn out, with good reason.

"You know, Shego, it also says in the Code that the female sidekick will accompany the male evil genius to the family gathering as his—"

"No. No! N! O!" Shego exploded as she jumped off the desk, spun to face Drakken and fired up her hands. "No clones, no dates! It's in the contract."

"But Shego …"

"Forget it, Doc," Shego declared as she stalked out of the room. "It's not happening. Not today. Not ever."

"Well then fine!" he yelled as the door closed behind her. "Just you wait! I'll find a woman worthy of me, Dr. Drakken! You wait and see, Shego!"

Drakken spun around, stomped over to his desk and sat down. He turned on the television and began flipping through the stations, looking for something, anything to take his mind off his woes. He stopped surfing when he came to the Middleton News Network, which had a picture of Kim Possible's mother on the screen.

"This is Tricia Labowski at the Middleton Medical Center which is celebrating the announcement that their own Dr. Ann Possible was named Tri-City Brain Surgeon of the Year …"

The picture of Kim's mother was replaced by a live shot of Tricia, who was standing in front of the hospital with a curly haired man who was wearing a classic doctor's white lab coat and stethoscope.

"… With me is Doctor Hoo, the Medical Center's Chief of Medicine. Doctor, any comments?"

"We're very proud of her," Hoo said. "We're so lucky to have her on staff. She's not only brilliant, she's warm, friendly, and, I hope her husband won't mind too much if I say this, beautiful, too."

"The complete package," Tricia said.

"Exactly. An inspiration to us all, and we're looking forward to the awards ceremony."

"Stupid Possible," Drakken grumbled as his thoughts settled on his one-time classmate. "What did he do to get the complete package? He's as much a nerd as I am!" Frustrated, the villain turned off the television and began to sort through his mail. "Junk, junk, junk," he grumbled as he set aside the catalogs. He stopped when he got to "Home Cloning." He looked at it then rose from his chair, a look of triumph on his face, the gleam of victory in his eyes. "That's it!" he cried in triumph. "My greatest plan ever! Edna, Glenda, and Aunt Irma, prepare to bow at the feet of Mother! Muwahahahahahahahaha!"

V.

"You are so going to be busted," Kim declared as she looked defiantly at Monkey Fist.

"You tell him, KP," Ron said encouragingly.

"I'm all atremble," the simianinzed nobleman said as he turned away from the two teens who were bound together and suspended over a pit of roiling lava.

Monkey Fist closed the Codex, which he left on a lectern, and exited the chamber.

"You know, this is not quite how I imagined our double date going," Ron observed.

"Understatement much?" Kim groused.

"Well, at least I get to hang with my best friend," Ron.

"Back atcha," Kim said. "Though I'd rather be hanging at Bueno Nacho than over a lava pit. I so want to tell Josh that I'll be going to his gallery opening. Thanks for making that happen, Ron."

"Eh," he said with a shrug. "As someone pretty badical I know likes to say, 'No big.'"

"Ron, do that again."

"What, say 'no big'?"

"No," Kim said with urgency. "Shrug your shoulders."

Ron did as suggested and was met with a predatory grin on Kim's face.

"Monkey Fist should not have had his monkey ninjas tie us up," she said.

Ron began to twitch. "All those monkey hands …"

"I was talking about the quality of their knots," Kim said with just a hint of irritation. "I think we can loosen these ropes. We'll need to time this right – we want to loosen them slowly so we can wriggle free but not so much that we fall into the lava."

"I'm all about not falling into the lava," Ron said nervously.

"Take a deep breath," Kim said reassuringly as she looked into Ron's eyes. "We'll be fine."

"Gotcha," Ron said as he met and held Kim's gaze. Then he took a deep breath. "Okay, let's make a monkey of Monty."

"That's the spirit," Kim said with a big grin as they began to work on their ropes …

VI.

"Just one hair?" Shego asked suspiciously.

"That's all I need," Drakken said.

"Why?" she asked.

"Why what?"

"Why do you want a strand of Kimmie's mother's hair?"

"Because," Drakken said, "because I, uh, I want to sequence her DNA. It's for a cybertronic artificial intelligence manipulator I want to develop. With the C.A.I.M. I will rule the world!"

"You sure about that?"

"Believe me Shego, with that strand of hair I will be da man!"

"As long as you're not planning to clone her," Shego said.

"Me? Clone Kim Possible's mother?" Drakken said dismissively. "Whatever makes you think I'd do that?"

"Uh, let's see," Shego said as she rubbed her chin. "Doctor Desperation desires a date?"

"Very funny," Drakken sneered.

"Okay, okay," Shego said in a conciliatory tone as she headed to the door. "I wouldn't want to be the reason 'Project Why Should This Plan Be Different From Any of The Others And Actually Work?' went south. Don't wait up for me."

VII.

"Admittedly, later than I wanted to get home, but it sure beats being stuck in a lair overnight!" Kim said as she gathered up her parachute.

"A little help here," Ron said as he struggled to free his chute from the branches in which it was tangled.

Kim looked up at her best friend and smirked. "Hold on a moment," she said as she began to climb the tree. It took just a few moments for her to free Ron from his predicament.

"Man, I don't know how you do that, KP," he said as he picked up his backpack.

"It's no big," she said. "I mean—"

"Aww man," Ron complained as his trousers plummeted for no reason.

Kim couldn't help but laugh.

"Hardy har," Ron said as he pulled up his pants.

"Sorry," Kim said. "If it makes you feel better, I'll make sure to tell Tara how ferociously heroic you were tonight."

Ron looked at his partner, as if waiting for a punch line.

"What?" Kim asked.

"KP, I know I'm just the sidekick, but you don't have to mock me," he said acidly.

Kim looked at Ron in shock, then scowled.

"Ron Stoppable, I so don't know what you're talking about," she replied sternly. "You know I couldn't save the world without you."

"Really?" he said, touched by Kim's comment.

"Mmm hmm," she replied, her expression that of one who's just shared the obvious with someone who should already know.

"Well, I guess I did step up tonight," Ron said, as a cocky grin spread across his face.

"You sure did," Kim said, a bemused, yet affectionate, look on hers. "You were spankin' when you took on those monkey ninjas. If it hadn't been for you, I would never have gotten the Codex away from Monkey Fist."

"Well …" Ron said as he began to blush, appreciating the compliment from his best friend who seemed to enjoy praising him as much as he enjoyed being praised by her.

* * *

_To Be Continued …_


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to Mr. Wizard, Boris Yeltsin, screaming phoenix, daywalkr82, cajunbear73, Josh84, Molloy, Quathis, campy, Samurai Crunchbird, spedclass, daccu65, Captain IT, motorized-sasquatch, Danny-171984, TexasDad, Ace Ian Combat, Michael Howard, Nikoagonistes, and bigherb1 for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Special thanks to campy for proofreading this chapter.

Leave a review and I (or my clone) will send you a response.

KP © Disney

* * *

I.

"Here you go, Doc," Shego said as she tossed a plastic bag containing a single strand of hair on his desk.

Drakken's face lit up. "Aha!" he crowed as he held aloft the small pouch. "With this I will soon achieve my greatest victory yet!"

"And that would be what? Showing your mama that you can actually find a girl to bring to dinner?" Shego asked sassily.

"Yes!" Drakken blurted out before he realized his mistake. "I mean, no!" he declared.

"Riiiiight," Shego said as she turned and headed to leave Drakken's lab. "Well, have fun. And don't forget: even if your date is a clone, you should still bring flowers and remember to pick up the tab."

Drakken gritted his teeth and glared at Shego as she left the room, trailing mocking laughter in her wake.

II.

"Hey guys," Josh said with a wave as Kim and Ron walked through the front door of Middleton High. Kim may have been dating Josh and Ron may have been dating Tara, but Kim and Ron, who lived next door to one another, still walked to school together, just as they had since first grade.

"How was the mission?" Tara asked as she joined the trio.

"We beat the bad guy, retrieved the priceless book. No big, really," Kim said mischievously as she watched Ron's face fall, knowing he'd wanted to impress Tara. Having enjoyed her moment of fun, the teen hero continued, "Other than that Ron rocked in stereo." Her eyes twinkled as she saw her best friend's face light up.

"Really?" Tara asked as she took her boyfriend's arm and looked at him with admiration.

"So really," Kim said. "Ron was in ferociously good form last night. He not only took out the monkey ninjas in record time, which let me get the Codex," she said as she took Josh's hand and looked at him, "he also looked out for his best friend's love life."

"What do you mean?" Josh asked.

Kim recounted their escape from the boulder and how Ron had insisted that she accompany Josh to his gallery opening.

"You sure about this, Dude?" Josh asked. "I know you and Kim always celebrate your birthdays together."

"'Sha," Ron said with a dismissive wave. "The Ronman will have lots of birthdays. The Mankster, however, only gets one first gallery opening."

"Thanks," Josh said with a grin as he tapped his fist to Ron's. "I really appreciate it."

"That was really nice of you," Tara said as she watched Kim and Josh walk off hand-in-hand.

"KP's my best bud. I'm sure she'd do the same for me," Ron said with a shrug. "Besides, she's taking me to see the latest installment of only the greatest action adventure saga of all time: _The Brick and the Dead_!"

"I guess that's something else I should thank Josh for," Tara said with a chuckle.

"What do you mean?" Ron asked.

"Well, not only will Kim be saving me from _Bricks_ _of Fury _since she'll be taking you for your birthday, but Josh went with me to see _The Post-It® Note_," she said brightly. "I'll go out on a limb here and assume that you weren't secretly hoping to see that one."

"Sorry, my bon-diggity girlfriend," Ron said, "but I'm all about the bricks, not the chicks."

"Really?" Tara asked flirtatiously. "I thought you liked chicks?"

"I do!" Ron said. "I'm all about the chicks!"

"Oh?" she asked playfully. "Does that mean I now have competition?"

"No. No!" Ron exclaimed in a panic before he took in Tara's expression. "You're playing me, aren't you?"

Tara laughed.

"Laugh now," Ron said as he wrapped his arm around the blonde's waist. "But just you wait until you want to see _The Legal Pad_, I'm trapped in a lair with Kim, and Josh has the flu …"

III.

She was stretched out on her tanning bed, catching some artificial rays and enjoying the latest issue of _Villain's Travel Monthly_, when the expected verbal explosion occurred.

"Shego!" Drakken bellowed as he stormed in from his lab. "What is the meaning of this?"

Shego finished the paragraph she was reading, slid her sunglasses down her nose, and looked at her employer. "You talking to me, Doc?"

"Don't give me that lip!" he snapped. "You did this! Intentionally!"

"Me? What are you talking about?" she asked innocently.

"That wasn't Ann Possible's hair you brought me!"

"And you'd know that how?" Shego inquired.

"Because the clone has sandy blonde hair, brown eyes, and needs corrective lenses!"

"Okay, you got me," Shego said with a shrug.

"How could you do this to me?" Drakken wailed. "My plan. It's ruined. What did I do to deserve this?"

"First," she said as she rolled over and swung her legs off the table, "you told me you weren't going to make any clones. You lied to me!"

"Well, I am evil. And lying is an evil thing to do …" Drakken countered weakly.

"Ugh," Shego said. "You not only lied to me, you lied to me about cloning. You know how I feel about cloning! Now, if you'd wanted to do mind control, I'd have been down with kidnapping Princess's mom."

Drakken looked appalled.

"What?" Shego said.

"I may be evil, but even I would not make someone cheat on her husband! That would be immoral."

"But cloning her without her consent isn't?" Shego asked acidly.

"It's … different," Drakken sniffed. "The clone is a new person, alive because of me!"

"Whatever," Shego said, tiring of her debate on ethics with Drakken. "Anyway, you should be thanking me."

"Thank you? Thank you?" he said, incredulous. "For what?"

"For coming home with Blondie. You actually think you could handle Kimmie's mother, real or cloned, as your date? Puh-lease."

"We would have done just fine," Drakken sniffed. "I can be charming, you know."

"Can and are are two different things, Doctor D."

Drakken mulled over Shego's observation, then smiled in triumph.

"What?" she asked suspiciously.

"You just admitted I can be charming!" Drakken crowed.

"And Dick Cheney can smile," Shego retorted. "Doesn't mean he does."

"Oh, fine, go harsh my mellow," Drakken whined.

Shego shrugged her shoulders. "Hey, I do what I can."

"Well you could at least tell me who that is back in my lab."

"Oh, her? That's the sidekick's mom."

"You made me clone the buffoon's mother?" Drakken exclaimed.

"Whoa, doc,' Shego said. "Nobody made you clone anybody. That was your choice."

"Fine," Drakken groused as he crossed his arms and pouted. "Well, we've got her, so I may as well make do."

"Now there's the romantic spirit," Shego said sarcastically as she made to leave the room. "Look at the bright side. She should make Mama Lipsky real happy."

"And why is that? I was going to bring home the clone of a brain surgeon and instead I have this woman who does who knows what! Mother has expectations, you know."

"Didn't Stoppable say his family celebrated Hanukah when you threw that whack Christmas party in your garbage can at the North Pole last year?"

Drakken rubbed his chin. "Hmmm. He did, didn't he? A nice Jewish clone. Mother would like that …"

IV.

"You're just lucky that you don't freak in tight spaces the way you do when you're around monkeys," Kim said with a knowing smirk as she looked across the lunch table at her best friend.

"Hey, hey!" Ron protested. "Did I freak around the monkeys last night? I did not. In fact, if you recall the Ronster kicked some serious simian biscuit."

"And you did Team Possible proud," Kim said without any hint of irony. "But you have to admit, the freak possibility was there. If there had been spiders …"

Ron shuddered.

"So, just how tight was this space you guys were in?" Josh asked. "It doesn't sound comfortable."

"Oh, it was large enough for us to squeeze into," Kim said with a breezy wave of the hand. "We were fine."

"Were you able to move around?" Tara asked.

"Move around?" Ron replied. "I was lucky to get my nose out of KP's ear!"

"Dial down the drama," Kim said. "It's not like the time we were locked in that sarcophagus."

"You were locked in a sarcophagus?" Josh inquired of his girlfriend. "You never told me about that."

"Last month," Kim said. "It was no big."

"But …"

"Sorry, big guy, but mummy's the word on that one," Ron quipped, earning a groan from his best friend, a blank stare from her boyfriend, and a furrowed brow from his girlfriend. "You okay?" he asked Tara.

"Oh, I'm fine," she replied. "Must be the mystery meat."

"Ah yes, the mystery meat. Just once you'd think Lunch Lady could serve risotto. I mean …"

Rather than listen to her boyfriend's ruminations on lunchtime dining options, Tara found herself picturing Kim and Ron confined alone in a tight space. Not surprisingly, the picture she was conjuring up was one she did not care for one bit, especially when she found herself imagining the two teens smacking lips …

V.

"Where am I?" the clone asked as she climbed out of the mimetic generation pod. Then she focused on Drakken, who was standing before her, one hand extended to help her, the other clutching a bunch of pansies. "You!"

"Me?" Drakken squeaked.

"I know you. You're that blue man my Ronnie's always chasing with Kimberly!"

"Well, that's not quite true," the scientist said.

"What do you mean? Are you or aren't you Doctor Drek?"

Drakken pulled a face and counted to ten before he replied. "It's Drakken," he said as he fought to control his temper. "Doctor Drakken."

"And just what kind of name is that?" the clone asked as she looked around the lair.

"A perfectly good evil one, thank you very much," he said heatedly.

"It's ridiculous if you ask me," she said. "Well, if you're done capturing me, I should probably be going home. Donnie and Ronnie are going to wonder where I am."

"Actually, I don't think so," Drakken said.

"And why is that?"

"Because, you're already home."

The clone cocked an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, but you're not making any sense."

"I'm making perfect sense!" Drakken snapped.

"What do you mean?"

"You – are – home."

"No, I'm not," the clone said.

"Yes, you are."

"Not unless my company transferred me here while I was sleeping, and I'm pretty sure that lairs weren't part of the corporate expansion plan. Now, if you'll excuse me," she said as she pushed past Drakken.

The mad scientist sputtered. "Wait!" he said as she exited the lab. Drakken took a deep breath and began to squirm. He looked at his shoes, then rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yes?" she asked, her hand on the doorknob.

Drakken sighed. "There's something you need to know …"

VI.

"Great job, girls!" Kim said as the cheer squad completed its practice. "We're so going to rock the cheer regionals this weekend."

The young women, save Bonnie who felt a need to grouse about why it wasn't fair that Kim was once again at the top of the pyramid, exchanged high fives, complimented one another, and began to head to the locker room.

"Kim, do you have a moment?" Tara asked.

"Of course, Tara," she said brightly. "What's up?"

"Well, it's Ron," the blonde said, suddenly unsure of what she was doing.

"Oh?" Kim asked, a note of concern in her voice.

"And your missions," Tara added.

"Go on," Kim said as she led Tara to the bleachers.

"I was wondering," Tara said as they sat down. "What's it like for you being out there with him?"

Kim pursed her lip. "I never really thought about it. It just is. We've been doing the save the world thing together for so long I couldn't imagine doing it without him."

"Really?" Tara asked. "Does it bother you that he can be so, well, goofy at times?"

"Ron may be random at times and he's easily scared," Kim admitted. "But he's never flaked on a mission and I don't even know how many times he's saved me. To be honest, nobody does sidekicking better than he does."

"He's a pretty darned good BF, too," Tara said.

"I bet he is," Kim said. "I know he thinks you're a ferociously good girlfriend."

"Really?" Tara asked.

"Mmm hmmm," Kim replied. "So, is there anything else?" she asked.

"No," Tara said, relieved that Kim, while she clearly admired Ron for what he brought to Team Possible's work, seemed to see nothing romantic about her adventures with her best friend.

"If you're worried that Ron will get hurt out there, don't," Kim said as she stood up. "He's got my back and I've got his."

"Thanks," Tara said before she had an unbidden vision of Kim and Ron having each other's backs in the midst of a torrid kiss.

"No big," Kim said cheerfully as she headed for the locker room, leaving Tara alone with her anxiety.

VII.

She sat in the chair behind Drakken's desk, staring blankly at the surface.

"I'm a clone?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yes," Drakken said as he wrung his hands. He was finding the whole situation incredibly difficult to handle. All he had wanted was a date and now he found himself dealing with a person.

"So I'm not real?" she asked.

"Oh no, you're very real, right down to your DNA," Drakken replied.

"But I have no family, no life …" she said.

"You can make your own life. And, well, you do have a family," Drakken said as he flashed a big smile and opened his arms expansively.

The clone stared at her creator, then dropped her head to the desk. "Oy. Shoot me now …"

* * *

_To Be Continued …_


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to Mr. Wizard, Boris Yeltsin, screaming phoenix, daywalkr82, Quathis, kpfan72491, captainkodak1, Comet Moon, bigherb1, Josh84, CajunBear73, daccu65, Thomas Linquist, Michael Howard, spectre666, Yankee Bard, Joe Stoppinghem, whitem, Danny-171984, Molloy, Samurai Crunchbird, and TexasDad for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Special thanks to campy for proofreading.

Leave a review and I'll send a response.

* * *

Some of the material in this chapter previously appeared in a now-defunct collaboration. Some of it is brand new. All of it is calorie-free.

* * *

KP © Disney

* * *

I.

Josh turned to see the front doors of Middleton High burst open. He wasn't surprised when his girlfriend flew through the door, holding the hand of her sidekick and best friend, who was screaming in her wake.

"Kiiiim! You're jacking my shirt!" he protested.

"You are so not going to be late for class, Ron," Kim seethed. "The squad needs you at practice, not in detention, this afternoon."

"Arm. Socket. Separating," Ron complained.

"Hey, Kim …" Josh said as his GF ran by.

"Hi, Josh!" Kim said, blowing him an air kiss. "See you at lunch?"

"Uh, yeah," he said as Kim and Ron blew by.

II.

"So, I take it Drakken spilled the beans?" Shego asked the obviously unhappy simulacrum of Mrs. Stoppable.

"Yes," replied the clone, who began to shake her head. "What was he thinking?"

"Sister, you're not the first one to ask that question," Shego said as she dropped into a chair and picked up the current issue of _Villains' Digest: Tropical Destinations_. "So, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know," the clone admitted. "It's not like I have anywhere to go. Legally, I don't even exist."

"You could always ditch the sidekick's mom and take her place," Shego suggested as she looked at an article about lairs and luaus.

"That would be evil!" the clone protested.

"Yeah, well that's kind of what we do here," Shego said as she continued flipping through her periodical.

"That's awful!"

"Hey," Shego said sharply. "Don't knock it till you try it."

The clone looked aghast. Then she began to rub her chin pensively. Then she cocked an eyebrow. "You know what? Maybe I will."

Shego looked surprised. "Really?"

"Why not?" the clone said. "It's not like I have anything else to do. And since you seem to know what you're doing, you could be my mentor."

Shego considered the idea and agreed. After all, being the mentor allowed her to use her master's in education. Even better, it meant someone else got to be the sidekick for a change …

III.

Tara watched as Kim and Ron rushed into class, barely making it to their seats before the first bell.

Ron flashed his GF a sheepish grin then mouthed the words, 'I'm sorry.'

"Stoppable!" Barkin snapped.

"Yes, Mr. B?" Ron asked as he sat ramrod straight in his seat while Rufus popped out of Ron's pocket to give the teacher a crisp salute.

"I see you've developed an interest in the ancient performance art of miming …"

Ron blinked in confusion at the former military man.

"… Perhaps you'd like to spend some time after school writing a report about your new hobby. See you in detention, Mime."

Ron's head hit his desk as Kim glared at him and Tara looked at him sympathetically.

IV.

"W-wh-what have you done to my clone?" Drakken sputtered as Shego entered the lab with her new protégé.

"Excuse me, but I have a name," the clone said.

"You do?" Shego asked.

"Yes. It's Barbara. Barbara Ella."

Drakken and Shego exchanged a look of incredulity, then began to giggle.

"What?" Barbara asked.

"Nothing," Shego said, stifling a laugh. "Nothing at all."

"Yes," Drakken agreed as he snorted. "Nothing at all … Barbara."

Barbara stood before Drakken and Shego, her arms akimbo, her posture commanding. The laughter quickly died down as the two villains became increasingly uncomfortable under Barbara's unwavering, withering gaze. Drakken and Shego each felt like the proverbial child who has just been caught by his or her mother with a hand in the cookie jar.

"Now, you were saying?" Barbara asked as she continued to glower at both her creator and mentor.

"Was I saying something, Shego?" Drakken nervously replied, deciding he'd save his comments about Barbara's green and black jumpsuit and too-cool glasses for another time.

"Yeah, actually I think you were," Shego said unhelpfully, earning a glare from her employer.

Drakken shifted about, then espied his salvation. He turned to his desk, grabbed it and swung back towards Barbara. "Homemade marshmallow square?" he asked as he proffered the plate of treats. "They're dee-lish!"

V.

"I so cannot believe you!" Kim snapped. "You practically asked Mr. Barkin to give you detention."

"Look, KP …" Ron protested.

"Don't 'look KP' me," Kim said as she jabbed a finger into her best friend's chest. "We have the cheer regionals coming up this weekend. We can't afford for you to miss practice. Now I'm going to have ask the girls to stay late."

"I'm sorry, Kim," Ron said as he looked dejectedly at his feet. "I just wanted to say sorry to Tara for not picking her up this AM."

Kim sighed, her anger spent, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Sorry for harshing on you. It's just that Bonnie's going to be all over me, saying I can't run the squad and that she should be captain."

"Well maybe she should be," Ron said earning a death stare from Kim before he added with a disarmingly goofy grin, "And maybe we should go back to Paris and tell Killigan that we're down with him turning France into his own personal sand box."

"Sand trap," Kim said with a roll of the eyes before she smiled at Ron. "Forgive me?"

"'Sha! Of course," he replied. "You forgive me?"

"Hello! Best friend here!" she said as she gave him a hug.

"Hi," Tara said.

"Hey, hey, it's my bon-diggity girlfriend," Ron said, pulling away from Kim so he could give Tara a kiss on the cheek. "Sorry, I missed you this morning. Head winds on the flight back from the City of Lice."

"Ew," Tara said.

"Gorchy," Kim agreed.

"What?" Ron asked.

The two girls groaned.

"It's the City of _Lights_, Ron, not lice."

"Gotcha," he said. "To be honest, I was wondering why anybody thought lice would be romantic. I mean, they're all creepy and crawly and—"

"Focus, Ron," Kim advised. She then added with mock severity: "Tell her why else you missed her."

"The Ronman needed his breakfast burrito," he conceded. "But how was I supposed to know that this was the day they'd introduce the new automated ordering system and that it would have some bugs?"

"Bugs?" Tara asked.

"It could only take orders in Spanish," Ron explained. "I'd have been Chauncey if we hadn't been bait-and-switched on the whole Latin class thing …"

"It's okay," Tara said. "Walk me to history?"

"It'd be my pleasure," Ron said as he extended an arm. "See ya later, Kimbo."

Kim grinned and waved as her best friend and fellow cheerleader headed down the hall.

VI.

"This is highly irregular," Drakken protested. "I should be her mentor!"

"Oh, yeah, like that would work out," Shego said dismissively.

"Well, I am an evil genius," he huffed.

"And you've done such incredible work," she said sarcastically as she hooked a thumb over her shoulder at two of Drakken's henchmen, one of whom was scratching his gut while the other picked his nose.

"Fine," Drakken grumbled. "You teach her. But please, whatever you do, just make sure she agrees to go with me to Mother's Seder!"

"I'll see what I can do," Shego said as she walked off in search of her new student.

VII.

"How was the mission?" Tara asked as they headed down B hall.

"Ah, same old, same old," Ron answered. "Bad guy tries to take over the world but KP saves the day – thanks in large part to my mad fu distraction skills!"

"Hey," an indignant Rufus squeaked.

"Hey, sorry, Little Buddy. Your doomsday device disarming skills rocked as always."

"So, nothing special?" she inquired.

"Nah," Ron said. "It was pretty run of the mill. Right down to the part where I lost my pants. It vexes me so when that happens."

Tara reddened. She wished Ron would lose his pants around her, but that never seemed to happen.

"Did you and Kim get to do anything while you were there?"

"Nah," he replied. "We had just enough time to stop Killigan before we had to come back. KP runs a tight ship. You wouldn't believe how tough it was to convince her to let me stop at Bueno Nacho this morning …"

"Actually, I would," Tara said. "I am on the cheer squad, after all."

"As if I didn't know. You're only the most beautilicious cheerleader ever," Ron said.

"Really?" Tara said.

"Yeah," Ron said as he gave her a kiss.

"So, you want to go to Bueno Nacho after practice?" Tara asked.

"Ooo, I'd love too," Ron said, "But KP invited me over to watch TV. Her fam's got cable and they've got something like 150 channels now!"

Tara frowned.

"Oh, me busted!" Ron said, slapping his forehead. "You want to come, too?"

Tara sighed, then took a deep breath and prepared to enter waters she'd prefer to have left unexplored. If only she had not begun to imagine Ron kissing Kim …

"Ron, do you like Kim?"

"Of course I do. She's my best friend," Ron said.

"I mean like like her," Tara said locking eyes with her BF.

"L-like like?" Ron stammered.

"Yes, like like. As in you'd like her to be your GF."

"Uh, Tara, I know I'm the master of the Gentleman's C and I've come up short in the romance department on occasion, but even Ron Stoppable knows you only have one GF at a time. And, last time I checked, I had one. Unless … you're not breaking up with me, are you?"

Tara took her now terror-stricken boyfriend's hands in hers. "No, Ron, I'm not breaking up with you. But, well, you and Kim spend so much time together that, well, sometimes it seems like you're, well, dating."

"Me and Kim? Date?" he said. The expression on his face made clear he'd never really considered the possibility before. "Besides the fact that I've already got a badical GF, KP and I have been best friends since pre-K. Dating could complicate things, even ruin our friendship. So, we okay?"

"Yeah, I think we are," Tara said as she leaned in and gave Ron a kiss.

VIII.

Kim and Josh sat beneath a tree outside the school. A combination of beautiful weather and a rumored snout-sighting in the mystery meat had made the decision to skip lunch and chill outdoors a no-brainer.

"So, did you and Ron make it to class in time?" Josh inquired.

"Barely. But he still got detention," Kim said with a grin and a shake of the head as she recalled the events of the morning. In retrospect, the sitch had been kind of funny.

"So, you want to get something to eat after cheer practice?" Josh said.

"Can't. Ron's coming over to watch TV tonight. His dad still thinks cable's a fad so I invited him over."

Josh scowled.

"Okay, spill," Kim demanded.

"Kim, don't get me wrong, Ron's a nice guy," Josh said. "But sometimes I think it's all Ron, Ron, Ron. You were going to blow off my gallery opening …"

"I so was not," Kim said heatedly.

"Okay, that wasn't fair," Josh conceded. "But you were going to miss it because of Ron. You spent Sunday with Ron cleaning up the park …"

"I did ask you first," Kim said. "I'm sorry you couldn't be there."

"Yeah, so am I. But did you even think of asking Monique or Tara or someone other than Ron to go with you?"

"No, but what …"

"You went on another mission with Ron yesterday. Now you're going to watch TV with him tonight. I'm seeing a pattern here, and it always involves Ron."

Kim's jaw dropped. "You're jealous!"

Josh rolled his eyes. "Kim, I'm not jealous. But sometimes I wonder if you're in denial …"

Kim's jaw clenched.

"… About how you really feel about Ron."

"I cannot believe this!" Kim exploded. "So I spend some time with Ron! He's been my best friend forever!"

"Maybe that's part of the problem," Josh said.

"Come again?" Kim asked icily.

"You've known Ron so long that you can't see him as anything other than your friend. Don't get me wrong, Kim, I really like being your BF, but have you ever considered how you really feel about Ron?"

Kim rolled her eyes. "There's nothing to consider, Josh," she said. "He's my best friend. You are my boyfriend," she added as she leaned in and gave him a kiss. "I don't do that for Ron."

Josh suspected he was going to regret what he was going to say next, but he felt he needed to. "Do you want to?"

"Aaaarggh!" Kim replied as she pulled her hair. "Josh, Ron's … Ron. Why would I want to kiss him?"

Josh just looked at Kim silently.

"Okay, I don't know what's going on or who you are, but I hope someone will give me a call when my BF returns!"

"Kim, look, I just want you to be sure about things," Josh said.

"Newsflash," she replied. "Kim Possible thinks Josh Mankey is golden, a real hottie and she's ferociously glad he's her boyfriend. Got it?"

"Got it," Josh said, not wholly convinced.

IX.

"Is this really necessary?" Barbara asked as she looked down at the black commando suit she was wearing.

"It is if you don't want to go to prison," Shego answered as she adjusted her black cap.

"What do you mean?"

"Rookies," she muttered before she answered. "We're trying to sneak in. Blend in with the background."

"I understand that," Barbara said. "It's just that this seems like such an inefficient way to do things."

Shego smirked. "You want money, you go to the bank."

"No you don't," Barbara said.

"What?"

"If you want money, you shouldn't go to the bank."

"You're not making sense," Shego said. "Are you sure you're not a clone of Drakken?"

Barbara shuddered. "Don't even mention his name."

"You still mad at Doctor D?"

"Mad doesn't begin to describe how I feel about him. Why, even if he were the only man left on Earth—"

"Got your drift," Shego interjected. "Now, what was that you were saying about the money?"

Barbara calmed down at the change of topic. "Follow me," she said.

X.

"Hey, KP, you got a minute?" Ron asked nervously, rubbing the back of his neck as he spoke. Cheer practice had just broken up and the rest of the squad had headed to the locker room.

"Uh, sure," Kim said, feeling suddenly unsure of things herself.

"Look, would it be a problem if I didn't come over to watch TV tonight? I thought I'd take Tara to Bueno Nacho, she and I haven't spent much time alone lately and …"

"No big, Ron," Kim answered. "I'd actually like a chance to hang with Josh."

"So, good, good," he said.

"Yeah, good," she agreed.

"Okay, well, I'll, uh, see you tomorrow," Ron said, shuffling his feet.

"Yeah, tomorrow," Kim said. "Well, uh, see ya."

The two best friends looked at one another, the awkwardness between them palpable, then turned to head to their respective locker rooms.

XI.

"Shego, may I talk with you for a minute?"

"Yeah, sure, Doc," she said, turning from the computer monitor and Barbara.

"Er, in private." Drakken didn't like the hostile stares that Barbara continued to direct his way. The clone's expression reminded him of the look that Kim Possible had whenever she was about to hurt the henchmen.

"I'll be back in a few," Shego said to Barbara, who nodded.

The mad scientist and henchwoman left the room with Drakken making sure to close the door behind them.

"Okay, what's up?" a curious Shego asked.

"Is this your idea of being a mentor?" Drakken snapped. "Shopping on-line? You're supposed to be out stealing things!"

"We are," she said.

"What do you mean?" a clearly confused Drakken asked. "You're here."

"Do you know what the buffoon's mother does for a living?" Shego asked.

"Why would I know that?" Drakken replied. "It's not like I needed to know."

"She's director of information technology for a financial services company."

"So?"

Shego slapped her forehead. "She's a computer whiz. She knows everything there is to know about internet security."

"So the next time I forget my password she'll be able to log me onto my computer?"

"Oy, you are so dense," Shego groaned.

"Shego, what have we said about hurting with words?"

The glamorous henchwoman responded by firing up her glow power. "How about I hurt you with my hands?"

"Excuse me," Barbara said, interrupting the two villains.

"Yes?" Drakken squeaked.

"You got something?" Shego said hopefully.

"Let's just say we're in," Barbara announced with satisfaction.

XII.

"Aren't you going with Kim?" Tara asked Ron as the auburn-haired teen hero dashed out of the school.

"Nah, it's a villain-free mission and the Ronman's got a date with his GF," he said. "Got to keep my priorities straight, you know?" he added with a catch in his voice.

XIII.

"This is Tricia Labowski, reporting from the Middleton Commodities Future Exchange where traders are in a panic. With me to discuss the situation is Mo Gull, the successful investor and noted collector of vintage bendy straws. So, Mr. Gull: What's happening?"

"It's unbelievable, Tricia," the clearly unnerved man said. "Somebody has managed to corner the market on both mohair and llamas. I've never seen anything like it! The economic implications of this are staggering!"

XIV.

"Guess who's got two tickets for the Smashmouth concert this Friday?" Kim sing-songed to Josh.

"Bonnie?" he asked with a rakish grin.

"I so don't think so," Kim said with mock displeasure before she pulled out two tickets. "You free?"

"Sure," Josh said. "Wait a minute, isn't Friday, like, your Ron Night?"

"Ron Night?" Kim replied. "No," she said running her fingers through her hair. "Not, uh, officially. Besides, I thought we needed to institute Josh Night," she offered with a smile that Josh thought was slightly forced.

XV.

Drakken, meanwhile, fumed as he read the brief note from Shego:

_Doctor D,_

_Barbara and I have gone to the spa for an eye waxing. See you later._

_S._

Not only was he no closer to having a date to bring to his mother's Seder, but now he appeared to be in jeopardy of losing his sidekick.

XVI.

Kim and Ron waved uncomfortably at one another, but didn't stop to talk as they passed in the corridors of Middleton High School.

XVII.

"Hi, Josh!" Tara said brightly.

"Hi, Tara," he said with less enthusiasm.

"Something wrong?" she asked.

"Yeah, actually, something is," he conceded. "I feel like I'm responsible for breaking up something really special."

"Oh, no, you didn't break up with Kim, did you?"

"No," Josh sighed. "But I think I'm going to."

"You can't!" she protested.

"Tara, have you seen those two recently?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"I think you do," he said. "Ever since I asked Kim how she felt about Ron, she's been all about being with me – and finding excuses not to be with him."

"Well, maybe she's just trying to be a better GF. I know Ron's been paying a lot more attention to me. It's really sweet."

"It's really wrong," Josh said glumly. "They were best friends long before they knew either of us. Now we're coming between them."

"Josh, maybe they're just growing apart," Tara suggested. "It happens, you know."

"Another possibility is that we freaked them out," Josh suggested. "Now that the possibility of their being a couple is out in the open, they're running scared."

"Maybe that means they shouldn't be a couple then," Tara said sharply.

"Or maybe it means they realize they're really meant for each other and if they act on it, it will change everything for them."

The two teens stood in silence for what seemed an eternity.

"You're going to do it, aren't you?" Tara finally said in a hushed voice. "You're really going to break up with her."

Josh grimaced. "Yeah, I am."

"Well, you're on your own, Josh Mankey," Tara snapped. "Things are going great between Ron and me and I'm not giving him up! Not for Kim, not for anyone."

Josh looked Tara in the eye.

"Do you really care about him?" he asked.

"What?" she replied, surprised by the question.

"Do you really care about him?" he wondered. "Or do you care about some dream?"

Tara stared slack-jawed at Josh.

"You don't have to answer," he said as he turned to walk away. Then he looked back over his shoulder. "But if you really care about him, you know what you ought to do," he said, before going off in search of his soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend.

* * *

_TBC …_


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks to Michael Howard, whitem, CajunBear73, Mr. Wizard, bigherb1, screaming phoenix, Boris Yeltsin, Comet Moon, daywalkr82, Josh84, Quathis, Yankee Bard, TymofeY, Danny-171984, Joe Stoppinghem, Samurai Crunchbird, Aero Tendo, Molloy, neithan, and Drakonis Aurous for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Special thanks to campy for proofreading.

Leave a review and I'll send a reply.

KP © Disney

* * *

I.

Barbara and Shego sat by the lairside pool they'd just had installed, sunglasses perched atop their heads, drinks by their sides, laptops at the ready. After their successful conquest of the mohair and llama markets, they were ready to embark upon their next act of financial piracy.

Then Drakken walked in.

"Hey, you're blocking the light," Shego snapped.

"I need you to steal something," he said.

"Kinda doing that already," Shego replied.

"What do you mean? You're just lollygagging by the pool!" Drakken retorted.

"Actually," Barbara said, "we're about to corner the market on kiwis."

"Kiwis?" Shego asked.

"Trust me," Barbara said. "Specialty fruits: big money."

"Sounds good to me," Shego said. "So where do we start?"

Barbara began typing a series of commands into her laptop. "Okay, we're in …"

"Would you stop that?" an exasperated Drakken protested.

"What?"

"Typing," he said.

"Why?"

"Because you're supposed to be stealing!"

"But I am," Barbara said as she reached for her drink.

"Not that kind of stealing!" Drakken snapped. "Real stealing. You know, the kind that involves breaking and entering!"

"If it's so important to you, why don't you break and enter yourself?" Barbara suggested, earning a high five from Shego.

"Lippy clone," he muttered. "Lippy sidekick."

"Okay, okay," Shego said as she turned off her laptop. "Calm down. I'll jack whatever it is you want."

"Really?" he said.

"Yeah. As long as it isn't more DNA."

"DNA? This is much better than genetic material," he said with a dismissive wave of the hand. "I need you to break into Cyrus Bortel's lab—"

"This better not involve that mind control chip," Shego snarled.

"Mind control?" Barbara asked.

"Don't ask," Shego said darkly. "I still have nightmares about listening to Doctor D's stories."

"Are you finished?" Drakken asked.

"Yeah, I am," Shego answered.

"Good. Cyrus Bortel has something I want: the Ionizing Dual Iteration Oscillator Technology," Drakken said with mounting enthusiasm. "With it, I—"

Barbara smirked. "You cannot be serious."

"Now what?" Drakken snapped.

"I find it rather amusing that you of all people want someone to steal an IDIOT. I'd have thought you had that covered already."

Drakken's left eye began to twitch and Shego began to guffaw.

"How about you come with me?" Shego said to Barbara. "See how it's done old school?"

"Why not," Barbara said. "Our own 'Evil Girls' Night Out'."

"Exactly," Shego agreed.

The two women rose from their chaise lounges and headed to the exit.

"Er, maybe I could come, too?" asked Drakken, who in spite of the japes at his expense, was feeling quite left out.

"That's okay, Doc," Shego said. "I think we've got this covered."

"But—" he stammered.

"See you later," Barbara said. "And don't wait up for us."

II.

"Hey, you're looking really nice tonight," Josh said to Kim.

"Thanks," she replied as she looked across the table at him. "You do, too."

"Thanks," he said. Then he began to fidget.

"Okay, spill," she demanded.

Josh sighed. While he was convinced what he was about to do was the correct thing, he wasn't happy about the need to do it. "Kim, this isn't right."

"What do you mean?" she asked. They were dressed to the nines, and had just been seated at a window table at Middleton's poshest restaurant, Chez Couteaux. After what promised to be a delicious dinner they would head over to the gallery for the opening of Josh's art exhibition. Kim groaned. "This isn't about Ron again, is it?"

"Yeah, it is," Josh said.

"What do you want me to do to convince you there's nothing there?" she replied with obvious exasperation. "Ask him not to go on missions with me anymore? Stop talking to him?"

"What would you say if I answered 'yes' to those questions?"

The fleeting moment of panic on Kim's face told Josh all he needed to know.

"Don't worry, Kim," he said. "I'm not going to ask you to do that."

Relief flooded across her features.

"Doing that would be — how does Ron put it? — wrong-sick. You guys are too tight for me to ask that of you."

"Then …"

Josh held up a hand.

"Kim, I've really enjoyed our time together. But you and I will never have the kind of bond you and Ron have."

"This is so flawed," an annoyed Kim said as she crossed her arms. "Why are you so into the idea of Ron and me dating?"

"I'm not into anything," Josh said. "It's just that I care about you."

"And your way of showing that is by trying to set me up with my best friend?"

"Look, would going out with the guy be such a bad thing?"

Kim rolled her eyes. "Josh, for starters, Ron's not a guy, he's, he's … Ron."

"I bet Tara would say otherwise."

"Touché," Kim said as images involving her best friend and fellow cheerleader lip smacking came to mind. Much to her surprise, she found herself wondering what it would be like to be in Tara's place.

"Tell me," he said, interrupting Kim's reverie, "if he looked like me, who do you think you'd be dating right now?"

Kim considered Josh's question and a long, uncomfortable silence ensued. She'd never even entertained the concepts of Ron and BF in the same thought until Josh broached the topic. Now, when he framed the matter as he just had … She grimaced. "You must think I'm so shallow."

"Nah," Josh said. "Just goes to show you're normal. Honestly, it's kind of reassuring given everything you can do."

"Thanks. I think," Kim said dryly. "I still don't get why you're doing this."

"Because you and Ron can have something pretty neat, something you and I are never going to have – and I'm pretty sure I can say the same thing about Ron and Tara."

Kim bit her lip as she contemplated what Josh was suggesting. "I don't know, it seems so, so awkweird."

"At least think about it."

"I can't believe we're having this convo," Kim said, shaking her head. "Fine. So let's say I do decide Ron and I should take our friendship to the next level. What about Tara? I'm so not going to steal her BF."

"No one's telling you to."

"So you want me to just wait for them to break up and hope he's interested?"

"I'll bet serious money he's already interested. And you may not have to wait long for him to become available."

"What do you mean?"

"Er, Tara and I have talked," Josh said, turning red.

"And she agrees with you?" Kim asked, incredulous.

"Not really," Josh admitted. "At least about breaking up with Ron. But she's seen you guys together. I know she's asking herself questions, even if she doesn't want to."

Kim sat quietly, mulling over everything he had said. "I don't know whether I'm supposed to thank you or be angry with you."

Josh grinned. "Why not both? You can do anything, can't you?"

Kim snorted. "So, I guess we're officially exes."

"I guess so. You know," he added, looking at his watch, "if you left now, you and Ron could probably still catch _Bricks of Fury_."

"What about your gallery opening?" she asked.

"It's okay," he said.

"No, it's not," she replied. "Even if you're not my BF anymore, I hope we're still friends."

"I'd like that," he said. "But it's Ron's birthday. You two should be together."

"Did I tell you where Ron's family is celebrating?"

Josh shook his head 'no'.

"J. P. Bearymore's."

"Isn't that place for kids?"

"And Ron," Kim said with an affectionate smirk. "He may be my best friend and maybe, thanks to you Mr. Mankey, something more, assuming he likes likes me and Tara doesn't kill me. But I am so not giving up a spankin' opportunity to miss that gorchy burnt pizza smell."

"Got it," Josh said with a chuckle. "So—"

_Beep Beep Be Beep._

"It's okay," Josh said before an obviously chagrined Kim could say anything. "It's what you do."

She smiled in gratitude, then activated the Kimmunicator. "What's the sitch, Wade?"

"We've got a break-in at Professor Bortel's lab," the tech guru said. "It looks like Shego and …"

"Mrs. Stoppable?" the teen hero asked as she gawked at the video that appeared on screen.

"It sure looks like it," Wade said.

"Does Ron know about this?" Kim asked.

"Not yet," Wade answered. "Unless his mom told him she was taking up a life of crime."

"Which I highly doubt she did," Kim said. "This is so many flavors of wrong. If Shego's involved, that means Drakken is, too."

"Maybe one of Drakken's cloning projects somehow went off course?" Wade suggested.

"Seems likely scenarioish," Kim said. "Can you get me a ride?"

"Already on it. Bernice will be at your location in five. Should I tell Ron to meet you?"

"No," Kim said. "This will just be way too high on the weirdness meter for him. He already has enough issues with two 'rents. He doesn't need a third."

"Got it," he said. "Good luck."

"Thanks, Wade" Kim said before she ended the call. She looked up at Josh and offered an apologetic shrug. "Sorry, but I have to jet."

"Hey, it's cool," he said.

"You rock, Josh Mankey."

"Yeah, I know," he said. "Now go save the world."

III.

"Oh yeah," Ron said, pumping his fist as he shot down one of Rufus's space ships. "The Rondo is finally in the house."

"Nuh uh," the naked mole rat responded as he quickly took out the last two of Ron's fighters.

"Aw man," he whined. "Well," he said, quickly brightening, "nothing to do but drown my sorrows in some more of this badical four-cheese pizza!"

"Uh huh, cheesy pizza!" Rufus chirped.

"I'm glad to see you're enjoying yourself, Son," Mr. Stoppable said as his boy scarfed down one of J. P. Bearymore's burnt slices.

"Thanks, Dad," Ron said after he'd swallowed and burped. "I just wish Kim and Tara could be here. I hope they're having as much fun as the Ronman …"

IV.

"Thanks for roller skating with me, Grandma," Tara said. "Ron always falls down so we never go."

"Oh, it's my pleasure," the older woman replied as she and her granddaughter glided around the rink. "It brings back such happy memories from when I was on the roller derby circuit. So, how is your young man?"

"He's fine," Tara said with less than her normal ebullience.

"But?" her grandmother prodded.

"There's no but," Tara said defensively.

The older woman cocked a skeptical eyebrow.

"Okay, so maybe there is a but," Tara conceded.

"Tell me all about it," Tara's grandmother suggested as they coasted over to a bench and sat down.

Tara proceeded to tell her grandmother about her relationship with Ron, Kim's with Josh, and Kim and Ron's friendship. Then she told her about Josh's thoughts on the matter.

"But what do you think?"

Tara sighed. "I really like Ron, but ever since Josh talked about Kim and Ron dating, I've been imagining them kissing and doing romantic things on their missions."

"Do you think he's cheating on you?"

"Ron? Cheat on me?" Tara responded, shocked by the very idea. "Never! He's too sweet to ever do anything like that. He's even been spending less time with Kim lately and more with me."

"Then why do I think you're going to tell me that's not a good thing," her grandmother said.

"Because, he's doing it for the wrong reason. I tried telling myself that they were growing apart but I think Josh is right: they're only staying away from each other because of us."

"Do you think Ron would rather be with her?"

Tara bit her lip. "I don't know. I think Josh was on to something. Maybe they really do like each other as more than friends but just don't know it."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know," Tara said, as she sagged. "I just want him to be happy."

"And what about you? What would make you happy?"

"No more Kim in Ron's life. But I know that's not going to happen," the teen said with resignation. "The moment she got in trouble, he'd go save her."

"I remember when I was your age," the older woman wrapped an arm around the glum teen. "Having a boyfriend is wonderful."

"Yeah," Tara agreed.

"I remember mine. I just knew were going to get married."

Tara looked up at the older woman. "I thought you met Grandpa after you moved to Go City."

"I did," she said with a smile.

"So you're telling me that Ron may not be the one?"

"All I'm telling you is that you're a beautiful, wonderful young woman who deserves a boyfriend who's totally focused on her, that I'm sure that there are plenty of guys out there who'd love to be your man, and that someday, one of them will want to be your husband."

"You really think so?"

"I know so."

"Thanks," Tara said, sniffling. "It still tanks."

"I know it does, sweetie. I know it does."

V.

"Mmmph! Mmmph!"

"Is it always this easy?" Barbara asked, ignoring the muffled protests of the ethically challenged, trussed up Cyrus Bortel.

"No," Shego said as she lazily tossed the IDIOT from palm to palm. "Drakken's usually ranting, which is really annoying—"

"And I'm usually kicking your biscuit," Kim announced as she dropped into the lab from an air vent.

"Oh, great, it's the Princess," Shego complained as she turned to see her teen nemesis.

"I didn't know you were royalty," a surprised Barbara Ella said.

"She's not," Shego sneered. "Unless you count the fact that she's a royal pain in the butt."

"So not funny," Kim growled.

"Hey, the truth hurts," Shego gibed. "I'll bet that's why your sidekick isn't here: he finally got tired of putting up with you," she said as she dropped into a fighting stance and fired up her glow powers.

"That's not true," Kim said as she responded to Shego's moves.

"She's right," Barbara Ella said. "Poor Ronnie's besotted with her."

"Besotted?" Kim and Shego both said. Naturally, Kim called 'jinx' first.

"You owe me a soda," the teen said smugly.

"How about a trip to the ER instead?" Shego shot back as she launched a spin kick Kim's way, which the younger woman ducked and avoided, then followed up with a one-two blast of green energy. "So, the buffoon's got a thing for Kimmie?"

"I'd prefer it if you didn't call Ron that," the clone said icily.

"Whatever," Shego said.

"Not that she'd ever care," Barbara continued as she glared at Kim. "She's never even noticed him, even though he follows her around like a lovesick puppy."

"Excuse me?" Kim said as she did a double handspring before dropping back, spinning on her left heel and delivering a kick to the solar plexus that sent Shego staggering. "Ron's been dating Tara almost as long as I've been with Josh."

"Nice try, Kimberly," Barbara said as the teen and her green-skinned foe tumbled by. "But he was mooning over you before he and Tara began going out. The poor girl only had a chance with him because you could only see him as just another friend."

"This is so not fair," Kim protested. "One, Ron's been my best friend since I was four; it's kind of hard to see him differently after so long," she said as she dodged a strike from Shego. "Two, even though it's so not your business, I've come to see that Ron is great BF material," she added as her fist made contact with Shego's chin. "And three, just who are you?" she asked as she sent Shego careening into a bookshelf.

"Ronnie's mother," Barbara said.

"Try again," Kim said as she advanced on the woman. "Mrs. Stoppable is so not a villain. I'm guessing clone."

"Prove it," Barbara said defiantly.

"Okay, but you asked for it," Kim said as she reached into her backpack and whipped out a can of soda, which she shook up, opened, and sprayed at Barbara.

The stunned woman looked down at her soft-drink-soaked top, then at Kim. "What were you thinking?"

"My bad," Kim said. "You should be melting!"

"What?" Barbara, incredulous, asked.

"Drakken's clones melt when they're sprayed with so—," Kim was explaining, only to be cut off when Shego, who was mightily tweaked about her high-impact encounter with the bookcase, whacked her on the back of the head with a leather-bound, gilt-edged edition of _Lo, The Plow Shall Till the Soil of Redemption_ in the original Magyar.

"So what do we do with her now?" Barbara asked as the two women looked down at the prostrate teen.

"Call her little nerdlinger friend," Shego said.

"Why on earth would we call him?" Barbara said, wondering just how hard Shego's head had hit the books.

"Because," Shego said, a malicious grin playing on her face. "If we play our cards right, we can put a permanent kibosh on Princess's little save-the-world gig."

"And how are you going to do that?"

"With this," Shego said as she showed Barbara one of Cyrus Bortel's neural compliance chips, which she then placed on Kim's forehead.

_To Be Continued …_


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks to Boris Yeltsin, Mr. Wizard, Comet Moon, campy, Quathis, whitem, screaming phoenix, Shrike176, Drakonis Aurous, Molloy, Donteatacowman, Samurai Crunchbird, Josh84, Katsumara, TexasDad, Michael Howard, Joe Stoppinghem, Eddy13, CajunBear73, Danny-171984, bigherb81 for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Leave a review and I'll send a reply.

Thanks to campy for proofreading.

KP © Disney

* * *

I.

Tara picked up her cell phone and dialed Ron's number. She was sitting on the bed in her grandmother's guest room, considering what the older woman had said at the roller rink, and concluded that she could either let Ron go or fight for his affections. Tara had never thought of herself as a quitter and didn't want to begin acting like one now. With determination, she called her boyfriend, intent on cementing her place in his heart, Kim or no Kim.

The phone only rang twice before he answered. "Hola, bon-diggity girlfriend!"

"Happy Birthday, Ron," she said with a giggle, her heart warming at the sound of his cheerful voice. "How's the birthday bash going?"

"Badical!" he replied. "The burnt pizza is delectable and the gamage has been amazing. The Rondo rules tonight!"

"So Rufus let you beat him?" she asked impishly.

"Uh, yeah, if you want to put it that way," Ron conceded. "But a W's a W is what I say. So, how's the fam?"

"Great," she said. "Grandma and I went roller skating today. We had a blast."

"Coolio," Ron replied before he was interrupted by an incoming call. "Uh oh."

"What is it?" Tara asked.

"Incoming from Wade," he said. "You mind if I put you on hold?"

"No, of course not," she said.

A moment later, Ron was back on the line, his voice filled with worry. "Tara, I've gotta go. KP's in trouble."

"I hope she'll be okay," Tara said. "Be careful."

"Will do," Ron said. "See ya when you get back."

The call ended and Tara sat quietly, staring at her telephone.

II.

"You ready, Rufus?" Ron asked.

"Uh huh," the mole rat replied with a smart salute.

"Okay, Wade, we're going in," Ron declared as he approached the entrance to the ventilation shaft.

"Good luck, guys," the young tech guru said, ending the call.

Ron slipped his phone into his pocket and looked at the grille barring his entry. "Amateurs. Nobody can keep out a guy with the most powerful tool known to man," Ron said condescendingly as he grinned at Rufus. "You're on, Little Buddy."

"Hokay," Rufus said. Moments later, Ron, with the invaluable assistance of the smallest member of Team Possible's bucktooth, had successfully removed the barrier separating him from his partner and best friend. With Rufus safely stowed in his pocket, he pulled himself up into the shaft and began crawling. It wasn't long before he began hearing strange noises. At first he wasn't sure what they were and, thanks to his vivid imagination, Ron's fears began to mount. Still, knowing that Kim was counting on him, he refused to panic and steeled himself, proceeding towards the noise which grew louder and more distinct.

When he recognized what he was hearing he came to a stop.

"Chickens," Ron said. "They've got giant chickens in there. Or maybe KP's been turned into a chicken! Oh, man, that would not only tank, it would be foul!"

Rufus, who had been riding on his human's shoulder, shot his human a withering glare.

"What?' a genuinely perplexed Ron asked.

The naked mole rat groaned and slapped his head with his paw.

The two heroes continued making their way to the sound of the clucking. Ron poked his head out of the shaft and was stunned as he laid eyes on his best friend.

"Now that's something you don't see all too often," he observed.

"No, it's not, is it, Ronnie?"

Ron turned to the familiar voice and his eyes bugged out. "Mom?"

Unfortunately for the tow-headed sidekick, he didn't get to hear the response to his question since Shego took that opportunity to knock him out cold.

III.

"Man, that hurts," Ron complained, wanting to rub his sore head. "And this tanks," he added as he looked down to see that would not be possible since he had been bound to a chair.

"Uh huh," Rufus, who was tied up beside him, agreed.

"So, have a nice nap, sidekick?" Shego gibed as she strolled in. Kim, wearing a mind control chip, a vacant stare and a chicken suit, followed in her wake.

"I've had better," he admitted. "So, what's the deal with KP? And where's Mom?"

"Your Mom's fine," Shego said. "Now cluck for him, Kimmie," the villainess ordered. "And while you're at it do the Chicken Dance."

Kim did as instructed, clucking and dancing with verve.

"Okay, so you've got Kim mimicking a chicken," Ron said. "Seems kind of Drakkenish to me."

"Watch it," Shego warned.

"Hey, I'm just saying," he said defensively. "I'd have figured you for the take-her-out-for-the-count type, not the whack-complex-plan type."

"Actually, it was my idea," Barbara offered.

"What?" a stunned Ron said. "Mom, I don't get it."

"You need to step out of Kimberly's shadow, Ronnie," the clone said.

"Okay, maybe I've been a bit too comfortable in the supporting role, but sidekicking is a noble calling and what's that got to do with you teaming up with Shego?"

"Consider it an intervention," Barbara said. "Besides, the alternative would have been disposing of Kimberly permanently."

"Look at it this way, doofus, we're actually doing Princess a favor," Shego added. "I could have whacked her, after all."

"Instead, Kimberly will just have to deal with video of her embarrassing herself on the Internet," Barbara said.

"Which should do a pretty good number on Kimmie's competent hero rep," Shego said maliciously. "Would you call that in an emergency?" she asked, hooking a thumb at her mind-controlled nemesis who was prancing about the lair, flapping her wings.

"I can see that," Ron said, nodding his head before he added, "But it's sick and wrong!"

"You think that's sick and wrong? Try this," Shego said as she turned to Kim. "Yo, Chicken Little, tell your sidekick everything you find annoying about him."

"Yes, Shego," Kim said in a syrupy monotone before she shifted her attention to her best friend.

"I so can't stand the way you gulp down pizza or the gorchy noises you make when you slurp your soda or how you belch in the caf or how lazy you can be about your homework or your inability to put on roller skates without falling down …"

"Aw, man, not you too!" Ron whined.

"… Or your mindless devotion to GWA wrestling which is so obviously fake like anyone could ever think otherwise or the way you always ignore me on missions when I tell you not to push shiny red buttons …"

Ron winced as Kim shared her extensive catalog of his faults. As he endured her litany, he was beginning to wonder why she bothered to be friends with him. She seemed to find him to be nothing but a nuisance.

"… Or the way you sold me out to Prince Wally in the school election or made up stories for the school newspaper about me and Brick just so you could get a headline or shop at Smarty Mart or how you smack lips with Tara but you've never even tried to kiss me or how clueless you can be sometimes, like now, thinking this clone is actually your mother—those are so not her colors or—"

"Whoa!" a thunderstruck Ron said. "Say that last bit again."

"I am annoyed by how clueless you can be—"

"No, no, the part before that, though I do want to know what's going on with the Momclone."

"I am annoyed that you smack lips with Tara but you've never even tried to kiss me."

Ron gawked at the chicken suit-clad teen hero in amazement. "You want me to kiss you?" he asked.

"Yes," Kim said, her smile unwavering.

"Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Because I didn't see you as a boy …"

"Ooh, the manhood just took one there," Ron groaned.

"… And I didn't want to jeopardize our friendship because ruining that would be so the drama."

"Okay, I can work with that," Ron said.

"You know, this has all been very interesting," Shego said. "But I'm getting bored. Princess, I think it's time for you to take out your sidekick."

"I so don't think so," Kim replied, surprising Shego, who hadn't expected Kim to respond in her normal voice nor to spin and kick her in the gut, which sent her flying backwards into a wall.

The glamorous villainess rubbed her head, then looked up to see a fuming teen hero looming over her. "How?" she stammered.

"Never underestimate the escape artistry of a naked mole rat," Ron, who was still tied up, said smugly as Rufus, who was now perched on Kim's shoulder and brandishing the mind control chip, took a bow.

"You are so flawed," Kim snapped. "A chicken suit? Even Drakken's not that lame!"

"Hey, don't blame me, blame her," Shego said defensively.

"Who?" Ron asked.

"The clone," Shego answered.

"What clone?" Ron replied.

Shego looked around. "Great," she grumbled as she got to her feet. "Looks like Barbara vamoosed with the IDIOT."

"You shouldn't call Drakken names," Ron said.

"Oy," Shego groaned, rolling her eyes. "Not that idiot, you buffoon. The IDIOT thing he wanted us to steal."

"Which, apparently, is now gone along with Mrs. Stoppable's clone to who knows where," Kim said before Rufus scampered up to her with a piece of paper which turned out to be a note from Barbara. Ron peered over her shoulder as she began to read the message aloud.

_Shego,_

_You've been a great mentor, but I think it's time for me to strike out on my own; despite Ronnie's praise of sidekicking, it just isn't my thing._

_All the best,_

_Barbara Ella_

"What?!" Shego exclaimed. "She can't do that! Who does she think she is?"

"Don't take it personally," Ron said. "Watching the Mom-Dad dynamic, I can tell you that she is most definitely not a sidekicking kind of gal."

Shego gritted her teeth and glared at Ron.

"Hey, I was just sayin'"

"Are you two done?" Kim asked peevishly. "There's more."

_P.S.: Kimberly: you'd be lucky to have someone as loyal and lovable as Ronnie as your boyfriend. He may be different, a bit slow on the uptake, and his table manners leave much to be desired, but he's special. Don't forget that._

Kim reddened, as did Ron.

Shego snorted. "Looks like we were all schooled on this gig, Kimmie."

"I guess so," the teen said, still blushing. Then she frowned and directed a challenging gaze at Shego. "Why did Drakken want a clone of Ron's mother?"

"Long story short: Doctor D needed a date for Momma Lipsky's Passover Seder."

"Wow," Ron said. "Cloning the mom of your arch foe's sidekick. And I thought his robot girls set the standard for pathetic."

Shego shrugged and rose to her feet. "You're telling me. Well, I'm outta here."

"Not just yet," Kim said as she blocked Shego's path.

"Move it, Princess?" Shego asked. She was about to strike out at Kim when Rufus slapped the mind control chip on her forehead.

"Nice move, Rufus!" Ron enthused as he looked at the suddenly compliant and quiescent henchwoman.

"Thanks," Rufus squeaked as he exchanged a high five with his human.

"I don't know about this, Ron," Kim said as she looked at Shego, who now stood before her wearing a vapid smile. "Mind control is just so many flavors of wrong."

"Aw, c'mon," he said. "This is just giving her a dose of her own medicine."

"Ron, I can't begin to tell you how gorchy it was to be under her control," Kim countered as she reached up to her adversary's forehead. "Nobody should have this done to them. Not even Shego."

"Two words for you, Kimbo," Ron replied. "Chicken dance."

Kim's features darkened visibly. Then she directed an unaccustomedly evil smile at her foe. "You know what, guys? Maybe you're right."

IV.

"So, uh, did you mean what you said back there?" Ron asked, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. He and Kim were now sitting against a boulder in front of the lair, waiting for a GJ hovercraft to pick them up.

She gulped, then looked him in the eye. "Yes, I did. Sorry about how I harshed on you. Forgive me?"

"'Sha," he said. "You're still my best bud," he said much to Kim's manifest relief. As she'd spooled off her laundry list of things that bugged her about Ron, she was worried that she was doing irreparable damage to her friendship with him. She was grateful for his response, though she mused that given her druthers she would be something more than his 'best bud', something that amazed but excited her.

"Still, what are the odds?" he exclaimed suddenly, startling her as he threw his arms open wide. "I've got a bon-diggity girlfriend and now I've got a super hot best friend who thinks I'm mondo annoying but who's angry I never kissed her."

Kim blushed and her eyes opened wide. "Did you just say I'm super hot?"

Ron turned even redder than his best friend. "Yeah, I guess I did," he answered with a nervous chuckle.

Kim couldn't help but smile. "Thanks," she said softly.

"No problemo," Ron said. "So, uh, what do we do now?"

"That's for you to decide," Kim said.

"What do you mean? We're both seeing people."

Kim let out a deep breath. "Actually, I'm not. Josh and I broke up earlier this evening."

"What? Why?"

"He said he thought you and I belonged together."

"Wow. So does this mean I'm the rebound guy? I've never been the rebound guy. It's kind of cool—"

Ron was cut off when Kim placed her hand over his mouth. "You are not the rebound guy," she said firmly. "You're the guy I realized I had feelings for. Got it?'

He nodded.

"Good," she said before awkward silence embraced them.

"Ron …" she said tentatively after awhile.

"Yeah, KP?" he said, noticing that his best friend was biting her lip.

"I'm okay if you decide you want to be with Tara and I know she was smart enough to figure you were BF material first and I don't want to ruin what you guys have and I'll always be your best friend though I have to admit I think you're cute and wish you were my guy," she blurted out.

"Really?"

Kim nodded. "Really."

"But what about all that stuff you said?"

"It's part of who you are. And don't forget: I didn't get to tell you all the things I do like about you."

"Huh," Ron said as he twined his fingers with hers and gazed upon their linked hands. They'd held hands before, but usually because Kim had grabbed his and was dragging him away to safety. This felt different. And nice. And given his status with Tara, wrong. Reluctantly, Ron released Kim's hand.

"KP," he said.

"Yes, Ron?"

"I'm going to say something I never thought I'd say …"

Kim gulped, fearing that Ron was going to say he like liked her but that it would be best if they remained just friends.

"… I am so confused. I need to spend some time thinking."

Kim, sensing she had a chance with Ron, felt a surge of relief and chuckled. "You are such the goof," she said playfully as she mussed his hair.

"Hey, I am what I is," he said with a grin and a shrug.

"Well, I think it's time to ace this place," Kim said as the GJ hoverjet appeared.

"Sounds like a plan to me," Ron said. "I sure hope Will Du isn't flying that thing."

"Why?" she asked as they headed towards the aircraft.

"'Cause something tells me that Willy boy won't be willing to make a detour to the nearest Bueno Nacho drive-thru," Ron answered as his stomach growled, earning a bemused look from Kim as they climbed aboard the transport.

V.

"Kimmie, it's for you," Anne called to her daughter, who was in her room doing her homework. While her teachers were fully supportive of her efforts to save the world they still expected her to hand in her assignments on time.

"Got it, Mom," the teen said as she picked up the telephone. "Hello?"

"Kim?"

"Tara?"

"Hi," the blonde said. "Could you meet me at Bueno Nacho when I get back to Middleton this evening?"

"Sure," Kim said. "What's the sitch?"

"Ron," Tara answered.

VI.

"So, I really like dating Tara, see, but I've definitely got feelings for Kim and sure, she's bossy and has to be in control, unlike T, who is so laid back, but, man, Kim is smart, pretty, athletic, my best friend and has it bad for the Ronman though Tara seems to be pretty sweet on me, too, and did I mention that KP's my best friend? That's pretty cool and should be the basis for something pretty badical but what if we flame out? Then Kim and I won't be dating and we won't be friends so maybe I should stay with Tara but that's not really a good reason for dating someone is it? I mean, I can't be with her but thinking about what it would be like to be with Kim—"

"Stoppable, how did you get in here?"

Ron, who had been sitting in the lotus position, looked up at a glowering Cafeteria Lady, who was standing in front of her stove and wielding a menacingly large metal soup ladle.

"Good question. I planned to see Tara tonight but she said something important had come up," he said as he looked around the unfamiliar confines of the testy woman's kitchen, which was suffused with surprisingly tempting aromas. "Maybe Wade can tell us. You got a phone?"

"Get out," she snapped as she grabbed his arm. "I don't deal with students or school-related matters off hours."

"But this isn't a school thing," he protested as she hustled him towards the door. "It's a romance thing."

"Still don't care," she snarled as she opened the door and pushed him out to her porch.

"But what should I do?" he asked plaintively.

"You really want to know?" she asked as she closed the door.

"Yeah," Ron said.

"Man up!" she barked before she slammed the door shut in her unwanted visitor's face.

"Man," Ron said. "Love is complicated."

* * *

_To Be Concluded …_


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks to campy, Bori Yeltsin, captainkodak1, Mr. Wizard, Michael Howard, whitem, Comet Moon, Josh84, Samurai Crunchbird, daywalkr82, screaming phoenix, Drakonis Aurous, Eddy13, Quathis, Danny-171984, Donteatacowman, Katsumara, bigherb81, CajunBear73, neithan, TexasDad, Molloy, and Binkmeister for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

Many thanks to special guest proofreader Molloy.

Leave a review and I'll send a response.

KP © Disney.

* * *

I.

Drakken, fueled by an impotent rage with which he was all too familiar from long experience – or lack thereof – in the realm of dating, where his record was similar to that in his chosen vocation of world conquest, muttered in frustration to himself. He had accepted that Barbara Ella would not be accompanying him to his mother's Seder and that other, less palatable options like the one before him – the Be Be, Version 1.0, had to be considered. True, a boxy, awkward robot wasn't the ideal solution to his problem, but it was preferable to letting Mama Lipsky set him up on a date. And, the Be Be, despite her manifold faults, was blue, so at least he and his companion would match.

The only problem was he couldn't get his college-days creation to power up.

"Stupid power cell," he grumbled as he attached it to his Volt-o-meter, only to discover the unit was dead. "I knew I should have had Shego steal those experimental batteries from Dementor's lab." He tossed the useless part onto his workbench and looked darkly towards the door. "Maybe she'll deign to snatch some for me when she gets back from her Girls Only Party." Then he looked at his watch. "Hmm. I wonder where they are?"

As if on cue, the door opened (making a whooshing sound that Senor Senior, Senior would have found most satisfying) and his lippy sidekick walked in.

Drakken's jaw dropped.

The blue-skinned mad scientist found himself struggling to regain the power of speech. After all, it wasn't every day that one saw one of the world's most dangerous women dressed in a chicken suit.

"Hello, Doctor Drakken," she said in a syrupy monotone.

Drakken stared in disbelief.

"Um, Shego," he finally stammered. "Why are you dressed that way?"

"Because Kim Possible told me to put on this suit. She also said I should dance for you."

Much to Drakken's surprise, Shego began doing the chicken dance.

"Stop it," he ordered after watching her flap her wings for a few most awkward moments. "You're freaking me out!"

"Yes, Doctor Drakken," Shego said as she stopped dancing. "Would you like to tell me stories about your childhood?"

"Okay, something's wrong here," he said as he looked at Shego through narrowed eyes. It was then that he noticed the mind control chip on the forehead of his famously sarcastic associate. Not surprisingly, it occurred to the good (or not so good) doctor that a potential solution to his dinner date conundrum had just presented itself. However, almost as soon as he had that thought he recalled being chased through the jungle by an irate Shego the last time he availed himself of a mind-control driven opportunity. With a sigh, he reached up and removed the chip. After all, suffering from Shego's wrath was one of the few things worse than enduring his mother's kvetching.

"Thanks," she said, glad to be freed from the device's effects.

"You're welcome," he replied. "Where's Barbara?"

"Gone," Shego said.

"Gone? What do you mean 'gone'?"

"As in she decided it was time to be a free agent."

"But what about the IDIOT?"

Shego resisted the temptation to say something snarky. "She took it."

"Unreliable clones," he groused. "Now, not only do I not have a date for Mother's Seder, I have been deprived of the one thing I needed to take over the world."

"At least you didn't have to do the chicken dance," Shego said, looking down at her suit. "Princess is going to pay for this." When she looked back up she saw Drakken heading out of the lab. "Hey, Doc, where are you going?"

"To the kitchen," he replied without looking at her.

"The kitchen?" she asked.

"Yes," he said, turning to look at his colleague, who couldn't help but notice the air of defeat that enveloped him. "How familiar are you with the Passover Seder?"

"Not very," Shego admitted. "We didn't exactly have many of those at St. Ag's when I was growing up."

"Well, one part of the Seder involves asking the Four Questions. One is 'why is this night different than any other?'"

"So?"

"So, Shego," Drakken snapped, "Once again, this night won't be any different than any other. I, Doctor Drakken, am once again without a date or a GF which means that once again I will be subjected to disappointment-laden lectures and, quite possibly, arranged dates courtesy of Mother."

"Sounds harsh," Shego observed.

"Don't you know it," he said, turning back to the kitchen. "That's why it's time for the doctor to drown his woes in some cocoa moo."

II.

Tara was already seated when Kim arrived at Bueno Nacho. Now that she'd admitted her feelings for Ron, the teen hero felt a pang of jealousy and a flash of anger when she saw that the blonde was sitting in what Kim thought of as her and Ron's booth. She took a deep breath to settle herself, then approached her fellow cheerleader. "Hi, Tara."

"Hi, Kim," she replied, looking up.

Kim noticed that Tara didn't have a drink or any food as she sat down. Before she could ask her friend whether she wanted anything to eat, the blonde turned and gazed out the window, leaving the two teens to sit in uncomfortable silence.

Finally, Tara returned her gaze to Kim, who noticed the tears on her friend's cheeks. "It isn't going to work," the blonde said softly. "As much as I want it to, it just won't."

Kim sat quietly, sensing Tara would elaborate on her cryptic statement.

"Grandma said I deserved someone who was fully devoted to me. I so wanted that person to be Ron."

Kim gulped. As much as she wanted Ron to be her BF, she hated the idea that she was coming between him and Tara. "You know, Tara, after the mission he told me you were a 'bon-diggity girlfriend'."

Tara smiled wistfully. "I'm sure he did. But that didn't stop him from rushing off to save you, did it?"

The question surprised Kim. "Did that bother you?"

"No," Tara said. "Well, yes, in a way. Don't get me wrong. You're my friend and you do so much to help so many people. I didn't want you to get hurt."

"But," Kim offered.

"But why couldn't someone else go save you? Why does it have to be Ron? Why does he have to be the one who goes on those missions with you? Sometimes I hate those villains so much because if it weren't for them, you two wouldn't be so close."

"Excuse me?" Kim asked, confused.

Tara shot Kim a dismissive look that would have done Bonnie proud. "Don't tell me that if you and Ron were just two normal teens you'd still be so tight."

"Why wouldn't we be?" Kim replied. "We've been tight since Pre-K."

"I know," Tara said. "Long ago you were just two kids who lived next door to one another. But you became a cheerleader who's popular, beautiful—"

"News flash, Tara: you're a popular, beautiful cheerleader, too."

"But I'm not a leader and I'm not smart, not the way you are," the blonde countered. "And Ron, while he's sweet, is weird, dresses funny, and, well …"

"So marches to his own very private drummer."

"Yeah," Tara agreed.

Kim sighed, then looked out the window to consider her response. Then she looked Tara in the eye. "Confession time: Yes, I've been caught up in the Food Chain. Yes, I can worry about what people say about me. And, yes, Ron's been such the embarrassment at times. So maybe what you say is true. I hope it isn't. But, thankfully, I'll never know because Ron and I do save the world and so I have had the chance to see beneath that messy head of hair. Do you know what I like most about Ron?"

Tara shook her head.

"Saving the world is my thing. I know he'd rather stay at home and play Zombie Mayhem or go out with you. But for some inexplicable reason, he insists on coming along and having my back."

Tara snorted.

"What?"

"Kim, the reason he goes out with you on those missions is because he loves you."

"Excuse me?"

Tara chuckled. "You heard me. Ron loves you. Oh, I doubt he knows it. But now that I look back on everything, it's so clear. I may be his girlfriend, but you're his world."

"This is so the drama," Kim said as she considered Tara's observation.

"You can say that again," Tara said. "So, be honest with me: how do you feel about Ron."

"I like him. A lot. I think I may love him," Kim said. "But," she added hastily, "I am so not going to try to break you two up. That's not who I am."

With more equanimity than Kim expected, Tara reached across the table and took Kim's hands in hers. "You don't have to."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm breaking up with Ron," Tara said.

"Tara, you don't—"

"Yes, I do," the blonde said. "Remember what my Grandma said to me: I need someone who can give his whole heart to me. That's not Ron. Though he can be that person for you."

"I don't know what to say," Kim responded.

"Say you'll tell him how you feel," Tara said.

Kim blushed.

"What?"

"I already did," she mumbled.

"When?"

"When Ron came to save me. You see …" Kim proceeded to tell Tara about the entire mission, clone, chicken suit, confessions and all. "So," she concluded, "It's in Ron's hands now."

"I see," Tara said as a mischievous grin spread across her face. "Now that's so the drama."

Kim arched an eyebrow. "Understatement much?"

The two girls smiled, then began to laugh.

"I don't know about you," Kim said. "But I am so hungry."

"Me too," Tara said. "Let's get something to eat."

As they walked over to the counter, Tara put her hand on Kim's shoulder. "There's something else I need to say."

"Okay," Kim said.

"If you ever do anything to hurt Ron, you'll have to answer to me."

Kim knew from the look in Tara's eyes that the blonde was not speaking lightly. "You're something else, Tara."

Tara bristled. "I may not be Shego, Kim, but I'll find a way to make you pay."

Kim waved her hands. "You so misunderstood me," she said. "I believe you. What I meant was that you're pretty incredible, Tara. If Ron decides he wants to date me, you'll be one tough act to follow."

III.

"Badical breakfast burrito bonanza?" Kim asked archly as she and Ron made their way down the path from her house to the sidewalk.

"Sorry," Ron said with a shrug. "While I'm normally all about your Mom's pancakes, I, uh, kind of wanted to talk."

The normally unflappable, tough as nails, steel-nerved Kim Possible suddenly felt butterflies rampaging inside her stomach. "Okay."

Ron took a deep breath. "This is really hard," he said. He stopped and looked Kim in the eyes. "KP, our friendship is the most important thing in the world to me. I don't know what I'd do if it tanked and you wound up hating me …"

Kim felt crushed as she realized that Ron was giving her the 'Let's Just Be Friends' speech.

"… But if I don't take this chance, I'll regret this for the rest of my life."

"What are you saying, Ron?"

"I like you, Kim. Heck, I like you a lot. And while being best friends with you is cool, I, uh, I want to be more than that."

"Even though I said all those things?"

"Yeah," Ron replied. "Look, I, uh, know this is kind of awkward and I have to talk with Tara and maybe we should take things kind of slow, but would you, well, you know, maybe be, uh, you know, my …"

"I'd love to be your girlfriend," Kim said helpfully and with enthusiasm.

"Badical!" Ron replied, earning a broad smile from Kim. "So, uh, then about a first date," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "How about this weekend?"

"Well, we've got cheer Regionals on Saturday. So how about Friday?"

"Friday would be cool," Ron said. Then he slapped his forehead.

"What?" Kim asked.

"This weekend's Passover," he explained. "We have the Seder on Friday so it looks like no date for the Rondo."

"Unless the Rondo invites his new GF to the Stoppable Family Seder," Kim suggested.

"You sure, KP? Even I know that's not standard first date fare."

Kim snorted. "Like I'd expect that from Mr. Never Be Normal."

"Touché," he said. "Though now that I think about it, there's a pretty badical reason for you to be there."

"You need my sixteen kinds of kung fu to keep your cousin Shawn in line?"

"Well, yeah, but I was actually thinking of something else."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Remember how during the Seder, we ask why is this night different from all other nights? "

"You mean the four questions?" said Kim, having attended the Passover meal at the Stoppables' in years past was familiar with the features of the Seder.

"Yeah," Ron said as he cupped Kim's face in his hands, "Well, this year, I guess I can answer that my best friend is my girlfriend."

Kim smiled. "Spankin'" she said as she brought her lips to Ron's.

IV.

"Hey."

Tara looked up from her lunch to see Josh. "Hi."

"Mind if I join you?"

"Sure."

"How are you doing?"

Tara shrugged. "I'm okay," she answered. "It was the right thing to do." She added as she saw Kim and Ron walk out of the cafeteria holding hands. "You were right: they do belong together."

Josh nodded and the two teens sat in awkward silence for a moment. Then he spoke. "I enjoyed our movie and trip to Mr. Fudgie's when Kim and Ron were on that mission."

"I did, too," she agreed.

"So, I was wondering if you'd like to go to Spring Fling with me."

Tara cocked an eyebrow at Josh and frowned. "I don't think so."

"Huh?"

"Just because you were right about them doesn't mean I'm not angry with you, Josh Mankey."

"You're angry with me?"

"If you didn't notice, I no longer have a BF."

"But you just said …"

"Just because it was the right thing to let Ron go and just because I'm happy for him doesn't mean that I'm happy with the way things turned out and they wouldn't have turned out that way if you hadn't opened your big mouth." Tara rose from her seat and took her tray. "Have a nice day," she said icily, leaving Josh to watch in stunned disappointment as she stalked off.

V.

"You should really learn how to tie a real bow-tie," Shego said as Drakken adjusted his clip on. "It impresses the ladies every time."

"Thanks for the advice," Drakken snapped as he finished dressing for his mother's Seder. He grimaced as he contemplated the upcoming evening. He was about to start ranting when he then noticed that Shego wasn't wearing her signature black and green jumpsuit but was instead wearing a stylish green dress. "Off to a night of clubbing?" he asked acidly, his resentment building as he reflected on how his sidekick would be having fun while he was listening to his mother drone on about her friends' precocious grandchildren.

"Actually, I'm going to dinner," she said as she leaned against the doorjamb.

"Lucky you," he said peevishly.

"Aren't you going to ask me where?" she asked.

Drakken turned and glared at her. "No," he said. "In case you forgot, I'm about to suffer through yet another one of Mother's rants about my lack of a love life. Listening to you talk about your plans for the evening would just be sticking a pin it."

Shego nodded in understanding, then said, "Too bad. I'm telling you anyway." Before Drakken could protest she declared. "I'm going with you."

"Well, goodie for you …" he sneered before he stopped. "Did you say you're going with me?"

Shego grinned wickedly at Drakken. Her expression softened, however, as she was done toying with her boss. "Yeah, I did."

"Why? You're not playing me, are you?"

Shego shook her head. "I know how badly Mama Lipsky busts your chops," she said. "So it wouldn't have surprised me if you'd just left that chip on me and made me go as your date. But you didn't."

"No," he said. "I didn't. Mind you, I didn't forget how you hurt me after the last time."

"You deserved it," Shego said. "I still can't believe you told me to look for a dodo."

"You'd have done the same in my shoes," Drakken said loftily.

"Yeah, right," she shot back. "Puh-leeze."

"Five words, Shego: Kim Possible in a chicken suit."

"That's six," Shego countered as she bristled. "Besides, that was the clone's idea."

"Nuh uh uh," Drakken said, waggling his finger. "You were the boss, she was the sidekick. You were responsible."

"Fine, whatever," Shego said with a dismissive roll of the eyes. "Look, I don't care why you took off the chip. You did and I appreciated that. This is my way of saying 'thanks'."

Drakken sighed. "Thank you, but I don't think Mother's going to let me off the hook just because I brought my assistant."

Shego snorted. "That's right, you do a radio show, don't you?"

"Mock me all you want," he said huffily. He was surprised when Shego took his hands in hers.

"I wasn't planning on going as your assistant. I'm going as your date."

"What?" he yelped.

"You have a problem with that?" she said dangerously.

"N-no," he sputtered. "I'm just surprised, considering the nature of our relationship."

"You mean the professional aspect or the way I'm always ragging on you?"

"The latter."

Shego nodded. "Thank Kimmie."

"What do you mean?"

"When I was wearing that chip, she didn't just make me play dress up. She forced me to confront how I felt about you."

"And, er, how do you feel about me?" he asked nervously.

"Truthfully? I don't know," she said with a shrug. "But this seemed like as good a time as any to find out."

Drakken paused, then nodded. "I see. Well, if we are potentially changing the nature of our relationship, we should do this right." The blue-skinned villain extended his arm. "Come, Shego, we must hurry."

"Anxious to get to Momma Lispky's now that you've got a date?" she asked, looping her arm through is.

"Not at all," he said as he shook his head. "This seems like an excellent time to go to the mall to steal a new bow-tie."

"Doctor D?"

"Yes, Shego?" he responded while preening, his chest puffed out.

"Don't push it," she advised.

Drakken looked at her and nodded meekly. "You know, Shego," he said, "the clip on bow tie is the preferred neckwear of truly debonair evil geniuses."

Shego cocked an eyebrow and smirked at Drakken. Then she smiled, reached up and adjusted his tie.

"Shego?"

"Just making sure you look good for Mama Lipsky," she gibed before adding in an unexpectedly sultry voice, "And your date."

Drakken's eyes opened wide. His knees buckled. Then he fainted.

VI.

"Tara?"

The blonde turned and saw a slightly built young man who wore glasses and had messy brown hair. She noticed that while he wasn't a textbook definition of 'hottie heaven' he had cute dimples. He also looked vaguely familiar. At first she couldn't place his face but then she thought she recognized him.

"Kevin?" she replied, hoping she'd just offered the correct name. His smile told her she had.

Kevin Guberman looked like he was about to say something. But he quickly grew flustered and found himself unable to speak.

"Is everything okay?" Tara asked, her words tinged with a note of concern.

"Yeah, it's fine. It's just that, you see …" he looked down at his shoes, took a deep breath, and forced himself to look her in the eye. "I was wondering if you'd like to go to Spring Fling with me," he blurted out.

"You want to take me to the dance?" she asked, nonplussed.

Kevin appeared crestfallen. "I should have known a cheerleader wouldn't go out with a nerdy chess—"

"I'd love to go to the dance with you," she interjected.

"Really?"

"Yes," she said.

"Wow," he said. "That's great! Maybe we could get some dinner beforehand?"

"I'd like that," she replied.

"Cool," Kevin said.

Tara couldn't help but notice that he looked like a man who had just won the lottery. His evident excitement at going out with her pleased her.

"So, then, dinner and the dance," Kevin said.

"Yes," Tara confirmed. "You and me. Though I should warn you."

"Warn me?"

"Since you're captain of the chess club, I'll have to be on my guard."

"I don't understand."

"I'll bet you've got all kinds of moves," she said with a wink, causing Kevin to turn beet red.

"I – I," he stammered as Tara, who realized she hadn't felt this happy around a boy in a long time, began to giggle. Soon, he, too, was laughing.

VII.

Josh sat listlessly at the drafting table where he'd been drawing, his interest in his art now gone.

He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but Kevin had stopped Tara just outside of the studio in which he had been working on a project. As the conversation unfolded, he first felt a twinge of jealousy, then anger, then, finally, resignation. No longer able to concentrate, he gathered up his supplies and, after he was sure his classmates had moved on, left the room and joined the stream of students. He noticed Kim and Ron ahead, Ron grinning and gesticulating, Kim smirking and drawing closer to him. The two laughed, kissed, then parted ways with each waving to the other.

Josh stood, lost in thought. He couldn't help but remember what it had been like for Kim to give him a buss on the cheek before they headed their separate ways. And he couldn't help but recall that as much fun as they'd had together, her eyes had never sparkled the way they did now that she was dating her lifelong best friend. Josh sighed, wondering if he'd ever have that kind of relationship with someone, then looked at his watch and realized he needed to hurry back to his locker to get his books if he wasn't going to be late to his next class. He turned to go – and immediately collided with someone, sending her books flying.

"Sorry 'bout that, Penny," he said sheepishly when he saw who he'd bumped into.

"It's okay, Josh," she said as she began to bend down to pick up her texts.

"Let me get those," he offered, kneeling down.

"You don't have to," she said.

"It's no problem, really," he replied as he helped her collect the errant volumes.

"Thanks," she said after they'd picked up all of her books.

"You're welcome," he replied.

An awkward silence then ensued.

"Well, see you later," she finally said.

"Yeah," he agreed. The two teens began to head their separate ways when Josh stopped and called Penny's name. She turned and waited as he walked over to her.

"So, I was wondering if you'd like to catch a movie this weekend?" he asked.

"Sounds like fun," Penny replied, "but I've already got plans."

"Oh," he said, unable to hide his disappointment.

"But I am free for the Spring Fling," she offered.

"Really," Josh said with a rakish grin. "So am I."

"Well, then, I think you ought to ask me to the dance," she suggested with a warm, inviting smile.

VIII.

The broad-shouldered man, who had a sculpted chin, flaxen hair, powerful arms, and nimble fingers, surveyed the table, confirming that everything he needed to properly administer a top-drawer massage was at hand. Satisfied that he was indeed prepared, he walked to his desk and consulted his desk diary. He looked at the clock and knew that the spa's new owner would be arriving at any moment.

"Good afternoon, Midas."

The handsome masseur smiled at the blonde-haired woman who had entered his domain. She was tall and attractive, her Middle-American appearance leavened by an aura of power and determination.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Ella. Are you ready for your massage?"

"I sure am," she said as she let her wrap drop, revealing a stylish one-piece swim suit, and lay down on the table.

"Excellent," he replied. "Let's begin with your shoulders …"

As she enjoyed Midas's ministrations, Barbara reflected on how satisfied she was with her life. She was the sole owner of an exclusive Greek spa, something made possible by her raids on the commodity markets, and was the holder of a blanket grant of immunity from arrest and prosecution, provided by Global Justice in return for the IDIOT. She had, she hoped, helped Ronnie and Kimberly reevaluate their relationship while allowing Shego a chance to experience the burdens of responsibility.

As for Drakken, Barbara didn't know what to think of the hapless villain. That she had been created merely so a social misfit could have a date was disturbing. The more she thought of it, the more she was bothered. It wasn't long before she began to tense up. But then she realized that had Drakken not been so desperate, she wouldn't be where she was. And so, reflecting on just how complicated love could be, Barbara Ella relaxed again, sighing in contentment as Midas worked his magic on her tired muscles.

_The End._


End file.
